Chicago Bears quarterback Mike Glennon claims he was simply interested in flexibility when he asked his landlord about month-to-month options, but many observers believe the veteran QB’s confidence was shaken by the team’s decision to trade up a spot and draft Mitchell Trubisky with the second pick of the 2017 NFL Draft.

“Not worried about job security at all,” argued Glennon. “Here’s the thing. In Tampa, I had these really obnoxious neighbors at my apartment complex who would play Metallica all night long. Florida leases are tough to break, so I was forced to deal with the situation. I spent a lot of tired, groggy days on the bench because of it.”

“Naturally, I wanted to make sure I could move if a similar issue arose here in Chicago. It’s not about being traded or anything like that. Oh gosh, no. I just don’t want to be tired when I start the first two or three games. I mean, season! Ryan [Pace] says I get to start the whole season!”

Despite the organization’s public support for Glennon and assurances that this was “his year,” the 27-year-old quarterback has been spotted checking over his shoulder 20-30 times a day.

“It’s like a nervous tic,” said one team source. “And this one time the other day, Mitch happened to be behind him in the lunch line when Mike did it. Talk about awkward. Mike yelled ‘I knew it!’ and tried to slam his lunch in the trash. He missed by a good five feet, unfortunately, then stormed out of the room.”

According to witnesses, the offensive linemen then welcomed Trubisky over to their table as Glennon watched, annoyed, from outside the window.

Heckler George