Approximately 30 minutes after Paul George’s gruesome leg injury during Team USA’s Blue vs. White intrasquad scrimmage on Saturday night in Las Vegas, the Bulls Derrick Rose came down with another injury of his own – sympathy pain in his right ankle – and has determined that he will miss the 2014/2015 season.

“Oh man, this is worse than the ACL tear,” said Rose, as he writhed on the locker room floor at the Thomas and Mack Center. “Where’s Reggie [Rose]? Can somebody get Reggie in here? And I mean quick.”

Having seen Rose fly and up and down the court throughout the exhibition and throw down a two-handed dunk, Team USA Coach Mike Krzyzewski was shocked to hear that Rose was once again befallen.

“I was in the ambulance with Paul and Coach Boeheim calls me on my cell phone and tells me that Derrick is rolling around the ground in pain, clutching his ankle,” said Coach K. “This was the most surprising thing that I’ve heard about Derrick since I was recruiting him out of high school to attend Duke and someone told me he scored a 25 on his ACT. That was laughable, this is just pathetic.”

Jeremy Barewin