With so much going on in Chicago’s topsy-turvy sports world, The Heckler’s July issue is here to help you make sense of it all.

It’s not been a good first half for the North Siders and The Heckler’s here to break it down for you. Read about the first-place White Sox here too.

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Among this issue’s headlines
Crosstown Classic
Zambrano gets straitjacket; Troubled hurler spewing new ‘Hell Pitch’ with his mouth

Cubs discipline Big Z by making him continue to pitch for them

Wrigley retail project broom closet to house Cubs Hall of Fame

Remorseful Ricketts asks if he can exchange Cubs for Rangers

Cubs add empty seat surcharge to season ticket holders

Aramis to take part in All-Star cockfighting tournament

Fan chooses to watch paint dry instead of Cubs game

Woo-Woo gets vuvuzela; Cubs mascot defies logic and finds way to become even more annoying

Soriano’s baseball IQ drops to .086

Cubs replace clubhouse sauna with cesspool

Fans scrape up $15,000 to send current players to ‘Cubs Fantasy Camp’; Soriano, Ramirez
and Lee targeted as ‘slackers’

Piniella uses cardboard cutout of Ricketts to motivate team; ‘With every win, we rip
off a piece of clothing’

Aramis to try out for NBA; ‘I love the 82-game season’ says oft-injured third baseman

A Heckler Exclusive: Rebuilding the Cubs; We asked some key Cubs personnel how they would fix the team. Their answers might surprise you

Woo-Woo in History: 1898 with Teddy Roosevelt’s Rough Riders

Man proud to be last Cubs fan with faith in Jim Hendry

Cubs officially impossible to watch sober

White Sox News
Sox fan gets exploding scoreboard-influenced spinners as rims on Camaro

Mugging victim: Being a Sox fan not quite worth it

Sox asked to give Cup back to BP as a possible containment device

All-Star Game 2010
Fan excited for 2010 Major League Of Baseball Players All-Star Game In Anaheim Of Orange County

Angels’ Rally Monkey is drugged even more than usual to prepare for All-Star festivities

Blackhawks News
Quenneville’s mustache traded to Vancouver

Toews, Kane stuck in permanent action-figure pose after hoisting Cup

PBS lands exclusive rights to NHL coverage; Fights abolished, analysis to focus on economic impact of foreign players

BP Cup handler dreams of being Stanley Cup handler; Those cool white legs gloves make it look dignified

Huet loses Stanley Cup; Backup goalie drops famed trophy between his and into open manhole

Bulls/NBA News
LeBron picked Miami because of rule against sex with teammates’ moms

Bulls now set sights on botching a big free agent signing in 2011

Chicago regrets trading Benny the Bull to free up cap space for Still confident ditching Hinrich was the right move

Phil Jackson to coach Lakers on giant TV from living room couch

Bears News
Martz: Bears O better than high school team I was going to coach

Lovie strikes fear into opposing teams with proclamation that ‘Bears will be good’

Screamin’ Johnny Blaze and Loco Rob bring the pain with their award-winning columns

Brad Zibung
Founder & Publisher

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