Comcast SportsNet will debut its newest show, Chicago Sports Team PR Hour, next week. According to program director Ed Malone, the new offering will serve as an alternate viewpoint on the state of sports in the city.

“Our current programs, like SportsRISE and SportsNITE feature extremely hard-hitting, unbiased reporting on Chicago’s sports teams,” he said. “In the face of the withering criticism of anchors like Pat Boyle, Gail Fischer and Luke Stuckmeyer, we just felt it was time to balance things out a bit.”

And so, beginning next week, Chicago Sports Team PR Hour will finally give the Cubs, Sox, Bulls and Blackhawks a voice on the network they partially own.

“Too long have we been unable to defend ourselves against the spurious attacks of so-called TV personalities like Chuck Garfein and Chris Boden,” said Cubs GM Jim Hendry. “They’re monsters–that’s what they are. And not the boring kind of monsters people ignore like Mike North and Dan Jiggetts.”

The new show will feature a roundtable format, comprised of two PR experts from each of the Chicago teams. Segments include “Buy This Merchandise,” “Totally Justified Inflated Ticket Prices” and  “Which Chicago GM is your favorite?”

“We’re also going to break down the best highlights from that week,” said a Cubs spokesperson. “And if there aren’t any, we’ll just talk some more about the awesomeness of Wrigley Field. Truly a one-of-a-kind game experience. Just like U.S. Cellular and the United Center. I’m contractually obligated to remind people that all three venues are one-of-a-kind. Which makes Chicagoans the luckiest fans in the world! Woot!”

From the March 2010 issue by George Ellis.  Click here to subscribe today!