Friday, March 29, 2024

Hawks re-acquire Kris Versteeg exclusively to rap new goal song

“We’ve been draining every ounce of energy from this song for several years,” said Bowman. “Honestly, at this point it’s become way too humble. Seriously. We’ve got rings, plural. Girls. Whirlpools. The guys are popping out babies left and right. It’s time to rap about it.”

Quenneville admits to spending $1000 weekly on dry-erase board supplies to feed line-juggling habit

“I like to use different colored markers to represent forwards, center and the defensemen,” said Quenneville. “I usually have a few of each color stashed here and there: in my suit coats, at the desk, in the sock drawer at home. But I can stop anytime. I only do it, you know, before games. Sometimes after.”

NHL allows Blackhawks to shorten games from three periods to two

"I must admit after kicking butt for the first two periods, we're thinking about which bar or strip club we're going to after the game, then we come out flat for the third," said Patrick Kane.

Blackhawks sign veteran forward Jason Voorhees to bolster physical game

“This guy has been everywhere, he’s got guts and skates with unbelievable power,” said Bowman. “Are we concerned that he has also taken the most slashing penalties in the league by far? A bit. But you can’t help but root for the guy. They mostly deserved it.”

Blackhawks’ summer celebration rudely interrupted by prompt start of NHL season

“I was over at Wrigley enjoying my usual on-the-house Stanley Cup full of Old Style when I was told there was a practice or something?” said Sharp. “So I ran right over. Well … finished what was left. Then took a cab.”

What have your favorite Blackhawks players done with the Stanley Cup?

Your 2013 NHL Champion Chicago Blackhawks were certainly characters on the ice. Naturally, you are probably wondering what all those guys are doing with the Stanley Cup? The Heckler is here to help.

NHL salary cap lowered to $9.50 per hour

Players will also be responsible for providing their own equipment and a car-pool program has been set up for traveling to games. It is not yet known if drivers will receive an allowance for gas money.