NHL

“I was unsure whether to accept the rank at first,” said the always-modest Toews. “But we hockey guys never turn down a good nickname. Heck, we rarely turn down a bad one.”

"We love what the Blackhawks are doing," said former running back Larry Csonka, who is a spokesman for the only Super Bowl-era team to finish a full season undefeated. "We will recognize their accomplishment with one rule--we are not going to count any more games against Columbus."

After an exciting overtime victory over the Stars improved their record to 4-0-0 Thursday night -- which marks the team's best start since the 1972-1973 season -- the Blackhawks are now projected by most analysts to finish the season with an undefeated 48-0-0 record. While doing so, they will also make sure that no child has to go to bed hungry ever again.

Suspicions were confirmed during a recent game, when Hossa scurried over a glass wall and into the penalty box without opening the door.

“Most owners like the deal because stadiums will already be full. Players like it because they get paid to do one-third of the work,” said mediator Ron Carter. “And Commissioner Bettman is ecstatic because it abolishes all Canadian teams except for one.”