Friday, March 29, 2024

‘Jameis Winston Defense Attorney’ listed as most secure job in America

"Mr. Winston is young, high profile, with great long-term earning potential and always seeming to get caught up in some sort of legal drama," said the publication's business editor Bill Freeman. "That's a defense attorney's dream right there."

That short, angry 180-lb white guy in your office is really excited about the...

It’s that time again, when undersized, angry fraternity brothers from the East Coast are up in arms about how the selection committee did them no favors whatsoever for the upcoming lacrosse tournament.

‘The Irish will win the tournament!’ asserts alum who hasn’t watched a game since...

"Listen, think about it, [2015 2nd round NBA pick] Pat Connaughton is a monster on the boards, and [#19 overall pick in the 2015 NBA Draft Jerian] Grant's just the kind of player to put us ahead of the rest of the field. Just ask around, everyone knows that this year is the best crop of players we've had in a long time."

Three Iowa State starters out for UVA game after meeting with Hoiberg, Bulls

"Fred was nice enough to introduce us to the NBA All-Stars on the Bulls," Niag said. "Derrick Rose taught all of us what it means to be an NBA star and how much work you have to put in ... and how occasionally you need to rest."

God to March Madness teams: ‘I’m only helping Loyola and Sister Jean’

God took a break from trying to fix the world today to send a message to all the NCAA basketball tournament teams that are not Loyola: “I’m not helping you.”

Cusack, Belushi celebrate lifelong, die-hard Loyola fan status

“Whoo-hoo! Did you SEE that win? The Ramblers are my team!” exclaimed Belushi by Skype, sporting his new, fresh-from-the-bookstore-via-FedEx Loyola t-shirt and brightly colored scarf. “And they always have been, in my sweet home Chicago.”

Nick Saban adds Thanos to Alabama coaching staff

The rich are getting richer. Fresh off of a conference title and a No. 1 ranking leading up to the college football playoff, Alabama is adding another strong, and somewhat controversial figure to their coaching staff.