Fantasy Sports

As if Monday mornings aren't bad enough, some guy you work with has been talking all day about a bunch of things you don't care at all about, namely his fantasy football team.

“I was actually gonna take myself in the 10th, but I knew I’d still be around,” Wright said. “I needed a pitcher pretty bad, so I snagged Kyle Lohse.”

An Inge family friend has disclosed that for the eighth consecutive year Brandon Inge was the highest-rated player and top pick in the Inge family fantasy baseball league for 2012.

At approximately 10:03 EST, Wednesday night, Yahoo! Sports reported that its fantasy football servers crashed for approximately 25 minutes after over 8 million searches occurred for one player: Kevin Ogletree.

"My five keepers are Josh Hamilton, Prince Fielder, Matt Cain, Starlin Castro and Adam Wainright," said Fitzsimmons. "I'm going to be stacked next year."

Fantasy football specialists across the country run the risk of pleasing or disappointing millions of followers each week. When each supposed “expert” makes his picks, literally millions of fantasy football players are hanging onto every word. That’s why this week, fantasy gurus everywhere are elated at the proposition that Cam Newton has to sit out.

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg today announced a ban on all status updates about users' fantasy football teams, citing millions of annoyed subscribers.