Thursday, March 28, 2024

Book of Revelation interpretation reveals Tim Tebow will return to Florida as Jacksonville’s starting...

According to Revelation 59, verse 15: “And the mighty jungle cats shall cut free its once leader of men. But descending from the western lands shall appear a fearless entity, a man from the lush sunshine state returning in all his glory. And he shall lead the lynx to glory and prominence, carrying his people on his back, plowing through obstacles with his mighty legs, and whipping all enemies with his unorthodox throwing motion.”

Helton to play season’s last home series in fur coat from bear he shot

"Nothing provides the natural warmth of a bear skin coat," said Helton. "And I'm ensured it was taken down humanely because I'm the one who killed it with a high-powered rifle while it was playfully frolicking in a meadow with its cubs."

Coors Field to be renamed after a beer that doesn’t suck

"We'd like to thank Coors for their continued support of the Colorado Rockies, but with all due respect, we'd like our stadium to be sponsored by a local beer that doesn't taste like moldy rainwater," said Monfort. "Unfortunately the only local brewery with a sponsorship budget is Coors so we're going to have to get creative if we want our park named after a beer that doesn't suck."

NHL denies Avalanche request to let team carry 30 points over to this season

The playoff hopes of the Colorado Avalanche were dealt a huge blow when their proposal to allocate 30 points from last year toward the upcoming season was rejected.

Brady Quinn buys billboard in support of himself

Amidst the news that a group of Tim Tebow fans were planning to purchase billboard advertisements in an effort to sway Broncos coach John Fox’s decision on which quarterback to start, second string QB Brady Quinn decided to buy a billboard of his own.

Orton booed while ordering food at Denver Wendy’s

"Listen, if Tim Tebow ordered that meal, he'd go with a Spicy Chicken sandwich meal," said one frustrated fan who witnessed the incident. "Maybe he'd even get chili as a side. That's the kind of order that inspires leadership. That’s the kind of order that can push a team to victory."

NBA Preview: Denver Nuggets

Why They Might Be Good: All-world forward Carmelo Anthony had one helluva off-season. "I kicked [tail] at the World Championships," said 'Melo with a smile. "I trained like a mo-fo, and I didn't appear in a single DVD in which one of my boys talked about selling drugs and capping snitches." Also, fragile big man Marcus Camby managed to make it through the summer without shredding a single tendon.