Broncos

Founder "Papa" John Schnatter said pizza sales during the game plunged 20 percent after the Colts took an early 7-point lead, and declined 63 percent by the middle of the fourth quarter.

After making the fourth Super Bowl of his storied career, 39-year-old Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning has told reporters that he is excited for an opportunity to take home a second title, promising that, if he were to win, he would be going to Disney World, where he would promptly "take a nice, long nap."

"I've been hearing a lot about how the young kids like the dabbing nowadays, and I think they'll really feel pretty 'dabbed' about hearing a hip, cool announcer using their 'lingo' during the biggest television event of the year," Nantz was overheard telling a young intern with a media pass.

The big game between the Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers is finally here. Will it be Peyton's last? Can Coldplay make it the full halftime set without an instrument malfunction? Play and/or drink along with The Heckler's Super Bowl 50 Bingo Board.

Manning's decision was not unexpected. Reportedly, Schnatter had become increasingly worried about Manning's on-camera persona. Rumors had been spreading about Manning missing his cues and fumbling his lines. Camera crews began to notice Manning was no longer as sharp with his delivery as he was during his prime, when he was on top with his "cut that meat" commercials

"Concussions. Arrests. Even those HGH rumors. This brutal display of athletics on the game's biggest stage has done more to tarnish our sport than any of those other issues," said commissioner Roger Goodell. "Hell, the fact I'm still running this league should be the most embarrassing part of today's festivities. But now? Nope. Not even close."

Just hours after leading his Broncos to a Super Bowl victory, Peyton Manning has his next opponent planned. Apparently Manning still has not shaken his lost ping pong match to 11-year-old Brady Adams.