Thursday, March 28, 2024

Denver Broncos’ marijuana-laden Super ‘Bowl’ Shuffle leaks on YouTube

"I got the munchies for the touchdowns and I eat 'em up, eat 'em up. I own Papa John's, so let's get some pizza...but first let's play football so I can beat ya, beat ya, beat ya!"

NFL sets Super Bowl start for 4:20 p.m. EST

"I hope there's like a ton of Taco Bell Dorito Locos spots during the game, because I could eat those things all day, man. All freaking day. Hey, have you seen my Visine? I have a press conference in 10 minutes," said Goodell.

Super Bowl XLVIII Bingo — Seahawks vs. Broncos

Play along as the Seattle Seahawks and Denver Broncos do battle on the biggest stage of them all, except for the halftime stage, of course.

80% of Americans plan to wait until Super Bowl hits Netflix or Amazon Prime

"Maybe Netflix will release all the Super Bowls at once, including this year's," said avid House of Cards fan and casual sports watcher Mike Benson. "That would be great. I could binge them all in two days."

Super Bowl continues to be delayed, pending arrival of Broncos

"Maybe they got caught in a traffic jam on a bridge or something," said New Jersey governor Chris Christie. "It's been known to happen from time to time."

Mustached Peyton Manning burns down Omaha, Nebraska

Though details are currently sketchy, numerous sources are saying that the fire seems to have been set intentionally and maliciously by Peyton Manning, wearing a fake mustache in an unsuccessful attempt to hide his identity.

Brett Favre comes out of retirement to regain all-time touchdown record

"If we're being completely honest, I've been looking for a convenient excuse to get back out there on the field and show these kids what a real quarterback looks like."