Thursday, March 28, 2024

Betts’ new 12-year contract scheduled to end in 2028 due to apocalypse

Despite signing a massive $365 million 12-year contract extension with the Dodgers, Mookie Betts' deal will actually end in only eight years due to the impending global apocalypse that will take place in 2028.

World Series trophy tests positive for COVID-19

Hours after the Dodgers clinched their first World Series title in 32 years, the Commissioner's Trophy became the first known inanimate object to test positive for COVID-19, likely due to its exposure to Dodgers 3B Justin Turner whose positive test was released in the second inning of Tuesday night's Game 6.

Wrigleyville street vendor burns Pujols-mocking T-shirts

“I could have donated them, but I didn’t feel like dragging them all to the Brown Elephant,” Vaughn said.“ Looks like my only hope for a profitable 2012 would be if the Cubs could sign Yu Darvish.”

Albert Pujols asks for help after he admits he doesn’t know how to run

Aging Angels slugger Albert Pujols has spent the quarantine going through some deep self-reflection and has come to terms with a tragic flaw: He never learned how to run.