Pujols blames slow start on not facing Cubs anymore
“Mostly, it’s the Cubs,” Pujols said. “I used to kill them. But now that I’m in the American League, it’s different. They’ve got real pitchers in this league, not the Triple A rejects they have on the Cubs. Playing against them I forgot how to hit real pitching.”
Pujols HGH shipments mistakenly sent to St. Louis
“When a client changes jobs it is customary to let us know,” said a BALCO spokesman. “We have been sending Pujols’s HGH supplies to St. Louis on schedule for the past 10 years, and Albert didn’t fill out the ‘new employer’ form. It looks like he is off the juice; no wonder he sucks.”
Angels list Pujols as ‘Dunn for the year’
The prognosis from Los Angeles Angels team doctors is as worst feared: 1B Albert Pujols has been officially pronounced “Dunn for the year,” as in Chicago White Sox 1B/DH Adam Dunn.
Heckler Comic: Albert & Dunn
Adam "The Big Donkey" Dunn offers some helpful advice to struggling slugger Albert Pujols. By Rick Atkinson
Josh Hamilton excitedly calculates how much coke he can buy with $125 million
"Well, I've still got a mortgage on my house in Texas, so I'll probably need to save about a million a year to pay for that and to get myself a nice condo in Cali. So at this point, the maximum amount I can set aside for coke would be $24 million each year, right everybody?"
Blackhawks play Duck Hunt to mentally prepare to face Anaheim in playoffs
"This team needs to learn that Ducks are weak animals that can be easily dominated," said Quenneville. "I put these games in the locker room so we can gain some confidence heading into the playoffs by blasting animated ducks over and over again."
Sly Theo trades .688-hitting Bonifacio to Angels for Mike Trout
Bonifacio is currently hitting .668, a stat Epstein was able to leverage to acquire the best player in the league.
