Friday, March 29, 2024

Epstein declares ‘Mission Accomplished’ as Cubs take series vs. Cardinals

After the Cubs took their second game of a three-game against the Cardinals Tuesday night, team President Theo Epstein could be seen kicking his feet up on his desk and drinking a tall Sam Adams.

Angels list Pujols as ‘Dunn for the year’

The prognosis from Los Angeles Angels team doctors is as worst feared: 1B Albert Pujols has been officially pronounced “Dunn for the year,” as in Chicago White Sox 1B/DH Adam Dunn.

Wood shocks Chicago by claiming return only possible with Cardinals

"To be quite honest I'm done playing," Wood said. "On the off chance that maybe a year from now I change my mind I can see myself pitching for St. Louis. That's it. They've always done a great job resurrecting careers."

Cardinals game postponed after ‘Free Sleeveless Tee Night’ sparks riots

For many St. Louis residents, Christmas came early this year when the Cardinals held their first and last "Free Sleeveless Tee Night." Unfortunately, fans could not stay calm for the mesh, 100% polyester Cardinals tee, sparking riots.

Panic-stricken Lance Berkman buys 26 crates of Twinkies

"Of course I'm sad, but the time to grieve will be later," said Berkman. "Right now, it's all about the hoarding."

Cardinals’ top draft pick projected to be starting pitcher in 2013 NLCS

Asked if he thought he was being somewhat presumptuous for predicting an NLCS appearance for his team as early as June, Matheny said, “Are you kidding me? Last I checked, we were in the same division as the Cubs, Brewers and Pirates.”

Cardinals fan in office now just pissing everyone off

Many cited Franklin's 30-minute water cooler speech complaining about "Puig's showboating" as the breaking point, as well as his tendency to respond to any negative comment about the Cardinals by angrily shouting, "Oh yeah, well when's the last time YOUR team won the series, huh? 2011 for me, baby!"