Friday, March 29, 2024

GameStop locks customers out from buying NHL ’13

The manager of GameStop Detroit phoned 911 and pleaded for help, "They're trying to break in! They want to play their game but we think it's an unfair deal for GameStop. A game of this caliber should be going for $70, not $60! I mean, come on! There's a new freaking skating physics engine for Christ's sake. These gamers have had it too good for too long!"

The World’s Most Honest Sports Team Logos, Part 2

Team names are fun, but they don't always accurately reflect a franchise's players and fans. Here at The Heckler, we've created a few alternate names and logos that are more descriptive of the teams they represent.

Firefighters spray flame retardant chemicals on downtown Vancouver in preparation for Kings’ sweep

The city of Vancouver is taking the unusual precaution of spraying flame retardant chemicals on its entire downtown area should the city's unruly citizens react violently if the Canucks are swept out of the playoffs by the Kings Wednesday night.

NHL refuses to punish Keith for dirty Sedin hit: ‘It’s something we’ve all wanted...

"There's no one associated with this league -- from Gary Bettman on down to each and every hockey fan out there -- who's not wanted to wallop a Sedin brother in the head at some point," said Shanahan. "It's something we've all wanted to do and Duncan got to live out everyone's fantasy last night."

Heckler Pic: Can’t make Luongo cry if Luongo is hiding on bench!

The Chicago Blackhawks are playing the Vancouver Canucks this evening. Naturally, Vancouver goalie Roberto Luongo will be on the bench.

Blackhawks to refund all fans who stayed until the end of Sunday night’s Canucks...

Blackhawks fans excited to see their team exact revenge on the hated Canucks for last season's playoff elimination were severely disappointed Sunday night as Chicago laid an egg and was blown out 6-2 on their home ice. But there is a bit of a silver lining for those who watched it in person.

Toews declines addition of monogrammed cape to uniform

“I know the addition of a cape necessarily makes bad guys fear you,” said Toews. “But I feel that it would blow my cover as a regular-looking guy who also might punch you in the mouth. Unless it’s an invisibility cloak. But I haven’t heard anything about that.”