Friday, March 29, 2024

Bunch of assholes on ESPN analyze A-Rod ‘roid admission to death

It was the shot heard 'round the world this weekend: Sports Illustrated reported Yankees mega-star Alex Rodriguez reportedly failed a steroid test back in 2003. Monday he confirmed that in an exclusive interview when A-Rod acknowledged that he did in fact take steroids for a three-year period while with the Texas Rangers earlier this decade. That allowed ESPN's dogs to attack, including three talking heads who are grade-A pricks in their own right.

Yankees fan insists infatuation with A-Rod is purely platonic

“Do I come down here and stare at these posters from time to time?” asked Herbst. “Yes, I do. Often. He’s a beautiful specimen of manhood.”

Williamsburg hipsters claim to be fans of Brooklyn Dodgers, watch entire ’55 World Series...

A group of young men recently gathered around a MacBook Pro at Barcade to watch the entire 1955 World Series on YouTube, declaring themselves avid fans of the Brooklyn Dodgers.

Yankees fan blames home loss to Red Sox on girlfriend’s refusal to wear rally...

“It’s impossible,” Scaramone said. “There’s no way we would’ve lost if Sheila had worn her rally cap like I told her to.”

A-Rod caught making out with himself in the mirror again

Always a breath away from a controversy, Alex Rodriguez was again caught kissing himself in a Yankees locker room mirror, part of an apparent self-loving trend that began in 2009 with a now-infamous Details magazine mirror make-out photo.

Yanks send Colon to DL with nonexistent left hamstring

“This was the first case I’d ever seen of a man having more ham than hamstring in his body, truly a marvel of modern medicine,” reported an anonymous doctor.