Friday, March 29, 2024

Ravens to go to Indianapolis anyway — in the middle of the night via...

Following the tradition set by the 1984 Baltimore Colts, some members of the 2012 Baltimore Ravens will be heading to Indianapolis for the Super Bowl in the middle of the night via Mayflower trucks. About 20 members of the team have agreed to take the trip led by MLB Ray Lewis and Defensive Coordinator, Chuck Pagano, who was just named the Colts new Head Coach.

Heckler Comic: Last week’s goats get to play Sunday

By Rick Atkinson. Click for a larger version.

Harbaugh brothers plan to spend Super Bowl Sunday beating up kickers

In order to vent their frustrations about kickers sealing their fate in both the NFC and AFC Championship games, Jim Harbaugh, head coach of the 49ers, and John Harbaugh, head coach of the Baltimore Ravens, will spend the day seeking out and beating mercilessly any kickers they can get their hands on.

Yankees forfeit season after losing first two games

"It was actually an easier decision than you might think," GM Brian Cashman said Sunday. "Because we lost both games of the first 1/81st portion of the season, we can't come back and become a successful playoff team come October. I mean, if this team doesn't win every single game of every season, then there is no reason to think we can be good."

Dickey’s one-hitters attributed to conspiracy among umpires, says Buck Showalter

R.A. Dickey's recent one-hitter against the Baltimore Orioles was his second consecutive one-hit performance and Baltimore's manager is crediting the knuckleballer's success to a massive conspiracy implicating every single umpire in baseball.

Pre-Ovechkin Washington Capitals fan found

John Benson, a resident of Silver Spring, Maryland claims to have been a fan of the Washington Capitals before the team acquired star player Alex Ovechkin. Although it is hard to believe, the team did exist before Ovechkin, who locals affectionately refer to as "Ovie."

Beyoncé studying old Milli Vanilli videos as prep for Super Bowl

"This will be better than Madonna, Ashlee Simpson and Milli Vanilli all rolled up into one," she said. "I've been studying 'Blame it on the Rain' for weeks and I think I can top it."