Saturday, April 20, 2024

Manfred reluctantly admits he doesn’t have what it takes to kill baseball forever

"I did my best to kill the game," said Manfred, "but ultimately I fell short of ending it forever."

Convention Update: Cubs fan and horrible bar food lover to hit up Kitty O’Sheas...

"I know people call it 'Shitty Okays,' but something about terrible overpriced bar food really gets to me," said David Stibe, from Davenport. "Even though the Convention isn't there this year, I just feel like I have to stop by for a $14 corned beef sandwich, hockey puck that it is."

‘Occupy Chicago Baseball’ protesters expected this weekend at Wrigley Field

Dozens of packed buses started to make their way into town Wednesday night; from Tinley Park to Evanston, Kankakee to Kenilworth, activists are geared up to let the leaders of these two teams know what they want.

Washington Generals offended Dan Gilbert compared them to 25 NBA teams

"I know we have the reputation of being a loser, but have you looked at Cleveland's roster?" said Generals coach and owner Red Klotz. "They won 19 games last year. And don't get me started on teams like the T'Wolves, Bucks, Pacers, Raptors, Warriors, Kings, Bobcats and Wizards. Our ball boys could give some of these shitty teams a run for their money."

Nick Saban adds Thanos to Alabama coaching staff

The rich are getting richer. Fresh off of a conference title and a No. 1 ranking leading up to the college football playoff, Alabama is adding another strong, and somewhat controversial figure to their coaching staff.

Nick Saban grimly smiles over tattered remains of Auburn voodoo doll he constructed

"It didn't have to be this way. You should have let us do your dirty work for you," Saban lamented over a doll of mascot Aubie the Tiger containing a single dread from Tre Mason's scalp.

Last-second loss to Auburn quietly drops Alabama out of the top 25

After a lackluster effort on the road last weekend, Alabama has fallen all the way from No. 1 in the country to out of the top 25.