Thursday, March 28, 2024

WNBA’s topless 2012 draft fails as only lonely creeps are interested

Contrary to popular belief, the WNBA still exists, and league officials are pulling out all the stops to gain interest. This year's 2012 WNBA draft was held earlier this week, in a VFW hall outside of Newark, N.J., and was "top optional" to generate interest in the failing league.

Breaking Scandal: Cubs lost last 10 of 12 games to get a better draft...

An anonymous source confirmed that Theo Epstein and Jed Hoyer determined that the Cubs could not win the World Series, so they instituted a systematic process to lose 10 of their last 12 games.

Blackhawks players banned from wearing jerseys at Amalie Arena

An intern at Amelie Arena, who wished to remain anonymous stated, "Look. Nobody should come into our house wearing their colors. This is our stompin' grounds!"

McCaskey taps Polian to help find new auto mechanic

When the "Check Engine" light suddenly appeared yesterday morning on the dashboard of Chicago Bears' CEO George McCaskey's 2011 Honda Accord, he knew exactly who to call to help start the process of making Chicago proud of his car again.

NFL flexes Bears-Vikings off the schedule completely

ing that it has flexed the Week 18 matchup between the Vikings and Bears to a more appropriate spot: off the schedule completely.

NFL surprised to learn putting ‘End Racism’ in end zones hasn’t actually ended racism

"It turns out it requires more than aspirational messaging to upend the generations of systemic racism baked into American culture," said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. "Who knew?"

Ben Roethlisberger vows to get even fatter in offseason

“No, I’m not going to work out at all,” Big Ben said. “I plan on eating, sleeping, and eating. No ‘assaulting,' no motorcycle riding, just eating 'til my last name looks smaller on my jersey.”