Twenty-year-old Cubs phenom Starlin Castro was caught trying to buy drinks this afternoon at hotel bar Kitty O’Shea’s with a fake ID from Delaware. Eyebrows were raised behind the bar when they asked the slightly built, young, Dominican-born Castro for an ID, and he handed over a cheaply laminated card claiming he was a 6’2” 280 pound, 56-year-old white man from Delaware named “Chuck Grogants.”

Castro was asked to leave the bar, where he was immediately put in time out.

“Marlon Byrd told me it was going to work,” said Castro. “Somebody was playing a naughty joke on me.”

Marlon Byrd admitted to being behind the ploy.

“He actually tried to use that?” laughed Byrd. “Since he ratted me out, I guess he’s going to be in charge of buying the first round tonight.”

This wasn’t the first time Castro has struggled with age identification problems.

“It was almost as humiliating as the time I couldn’t get into True Grit with my date,” said Castro. “They didn’t believe that I was over 18, even though I showed them my Skoal chew.”

By Andy Landgrebe

Andy Landgrebe