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2012-04-20-brianwilson

Brian Wilson vows to return from Tommy John surgery more insane than ever

April 20, 2012

On the shelf for the rest of the season after undergoing Tommy John Thursday, offbeat Giants closer Brian Wilson has pledged to return more insane than ever.

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  • 2012-03-08-McLellan

    The Heckler sues the NHL for stealing material after Sharks coach misses games due to concussion

    In a rare turn of events, the well-regarded sports web site The Heckler has sued the NHL, the San Jose Sharks, and commissioner Gary Bettman because of a stretch of games last week in which Sharks coach Todd McLellan had to sit out for a concussion.

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  • 2012-02-27-wilson-dictator

    Giants closer Wilson upset over look-alike ‘dictator’ beard at Oscars

    “Actors don’t understand what ballplayers go through,” tweeted Willson. “I grow the beard to honor my team. #hollyweird #whackassactors.”

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  • 2012-02-22-niese-beltran

    Carlos Beltran cancels check for Jon Niese’s nosejob after Niese offers to pay for mole removal

    Jon Niese through he was returning a favor when he offered to pay for Carlos Beltran’s mole removal, but as it turned out, he was stuck with a bill for a nose job the former Met promised to pay for.

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  • 2012-02-15-pittcepedes

    Cespedes signed with A’s because he thought he’d get to work for Brad Pitt

    Earlier this week, the Oakland A’s swooped in and basically stole coveted Cuban sensation OF Yoenis Cespedes, who accepted a four-year, $36 million deal. Of the teams apparently interested in signing him (the Cubs, White Sox, Marlins and Tigers among them) the Athletics were the surprise winner.

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  • 2012-2-3-Kickers

    Harbaugh brothers plan to spend Super Bowl Sunday beating up kickers

    In order to vent their frustrations about kickers sealing their fate in both the NFC and AFC Championship games, Jim Harbaugh, head coach of the 49ers, and John Harbaugh, head coach of the Baltimore Ravens, will spend the day seeking out and beating mercilessly any kickers they can get their hands on.

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  • 2012-01-27-goatsunday

    Heckler Comic: Last week’s goats get to play Sunday

    By Rick Atkinson. Click for a larger version.

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  • 2012-01-24-kenny-kyle

    Kenny Williams defends play of his son: ‘At least he didn’t sign Adam Dunn for $56 million’

    After being responsible for two game-changing turnovers in Sunday’s NFC Championship loss, 49ers WR and PR Kyle Williams has at least one defender in his father, White Sox GM Kenny Williams, who pointed out that his son might have cost the Niners a chance to play in the Super Bowl, he himself has done far worse, especially in signing Adam Dunn to a four-year, $56 million contract last year.

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  • 2012-01-23-harbaughs

    ‘HarBowl II’ to be held in parents’ backyard next weekend

    “None of my guys or Jim’s guys were ready to have our seasons end just yet.” said John. “But due to some NFL rules that only allow teams to play in the Super Bowl if they win their playoff games even if they’re coached by a Harbaugh brother, we had to make some adjustments.”

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  • 2012-1-18-PapaJohnReceipt

    Papa John’s issues controversial receipt calling John Harbaugh ‘third best coach in family’

    “This is not something we condone,” said Papa John’s in a press release. “We expect all of our employees to adhere to strict company standards. It is clear that John Harbaugh is the second best coach in the family. We expect our employees to accurately reflect the accomplishments of our customers.

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  • 2012-01-16-montanasmithyoung

    Newbie Niners fan calls Alex Smith most clutch QB in team history

    “Hands down Alex is the best QB the Niners have ever had,” said Yerkes minutes after Smith rallied San Francisco to a thrilling last-minute win over the Saints in Saturday’s NFC Divisional playoff game. “I can’t imagine anyone else in the history of the scarlet and gold I’d rather have leading our team on a final drive in a playoff game than Alex.”

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