White Sox 11
Machado, who will most likely be a Yankee because White Sox fans can’t have anything nice, got lazy when he saw that he still had time left to cross at the intersection of 35th and Shields, but ultimately had to pull up short to wait for the next light.
In a bold move aimed at picking off North Side fans, the White Sox have dropped the “We’re All In” slogan and replaced it with a more aggressive “Not As Bad As The Cubs™” mantra.
White Sox bench coach Joey Cora was recently the unfortunate victim of a U.S. Cellular promotion gone wrong.
"While I most certainly can empathize with his frustration, I find Mr. Quade's harangue neither professional nor appropriate," Guillen told reporters in the Sox clubhouse. "Why must that fellow demean himself and our grand pastime so with his foul, abusive vitriol? Yes, I am distressed. Distressed and perplexed."
White Sox outfielder Juan Pierre has responded to his early season struggles by growing a mustache in preparation for a shot at acting.
Following the White Sox no-hit performance in front of a dozen fans at The Cell Tuesday night, batting coach Greg Walker has decided to update his resume.