Adding to the increased hospitality for visiting fans, United Center concessions will serve stick skewered possum with a side of deep fried alligator snout, play at least one Florida Georgia Line song between periods, and hold a petting zoo with swamp creatures resembling Anaheim Ducks forward Corey Perry.
NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman called a press conference Wednesday morning to announce all current and future Stanley Cup games will be played at the United Center effective immediately.
“Oh, that?” Kane responded. “Must be Bickell’s. He likes throwing, um, Earth Day parties.”
Bulls fans began touting the recent rise in production of Joakim Noah, Carlos Boozer, and Jimmy Butler, snapping their fingers while moving in synchronous box-step formation.
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With NBA basketball now on the horizon, the Blackhawks will no longer be the lone tenants of the United Center. Several members of the team have been using the Bulls locker room as a junk closet this season and will soon have to make critical decisions concerning some of their stuff.
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