“We’re thin at wide receiver right now with only Eddie Royal, Kevin White and Alshon Jeffrey," Fox mentioned to Cutler. "None of those guys are really proven commodities and I think that, you know, it would be fun and um, uh well...how’s the family?”
“It’s no secret we’ve been shopping Jay [Cutler] and have been unsuccessful in the process,” admitted Pace. “His bloated contract and lack of supporting credentials has clearly handcuffed our ability to improve. However, when news of this championship broke, it undoubtedly boosted his market value overnight!”
"We were surprised about the suspension for Brady. However, Ted [Phillips] and I quickly acted afterwards. If Tom Brady could be suspended, then sure as hell we could suspend Jay," said an emphatic McCaskey. "Thank goodness the Wells Report mentioned the deflating and defeatist attitude of Jay. Once we saw the word deflating we knew that had to be about our 'so-called' leader. The folded arms, the eye roll, the don't-care attitude."
"It's a pattern. Trust me," said a peeved Brady. "Do you know how many times he's checked out Giselle [Bundchen]? He's always asking me if she's coming to practice, the games. It's beyond uncomfortable. Frankly I'm sick of it. So no, him checking out Chrissy is not surprising. He probably used his famous line about wanting to see one of my Super Bowl rings that's in my hotel room."
"I expect huge things out of Jay this year," he said. "I mean, the guy can hand off the rock with the best of them. Or at least as well as most professional quarterbacks not named Mark Sanchez. Of all his fumbles, maybe only two came on an exchange with Matt Forte."
“You know, I just did what any other good-headed, I mean hearted, citizen would do in that situation,” said the 45-year-old Buck, with the plane’s tire marks still just barely visible on his alien-like cranium.
"This will be my most difficult role," said Neeson. "I've had to battle Nazis, human traffickers, even Darth Vader. But this is Jay Cutler. I'm not sure I've witnessed anyone as heartless. Chicago needs to be rescued and I'm just the man to do it."