Bryce Harper 6
After devastatingly losing out on a bidding war for Machado to the bleeping’ San Diego Padres, the White Sox front office is looking to salvage the offseason by offering Bryce Harper a 10 year/$400 million offer with an opt out after every game.
Not known for his hastiness when it comes to making decisions, superstar and future White Sox (or Yankee, or Phillie, or who the hell knows at this point) Manny Machado has left his waiter working overtime for hours, after still not deciding what he wants to eat for dinner.
Machado, who will most likely be a Yankee because White Sox fans can’t have anything nice, got lazy when he saw that he still had time left to cross at the intersection of 35th and Shields, but ultimately had to pull up short to wait for the next light.
"It seemed like the nice thing to do," said Cubs skipper Joe Maddon. "I mean, hey, if the guy wants to swing by and take some BP, who are we to stop him?"
The Cubs' path to the NLCS just got a bit easier after Nationals' superstar, Bryce Harper, was scratched from the lineup for game 4 Tuesday after sustaining a shower-related injury in which he used shampoo that didn't contain conditioner.