Nobody took the near-simultaneous losses harder than Heat/Kings diehard fan Justin Bieber.Read More
With more than 300,000 viewers watching game three, ratings plummeted more than 33 percent to fewer than 200,000 during the Hawks dramatic 3-2 win in the fourth game.
“When I was with the Lakers, they always told me that I could have ice cream after I ate my vegetables,” the 6’11” center told reporters. “I hate broccoli! It’s gross. I wanted to eat a pint of rocky road for dinner, and they never let me.”
“This team needs to learn that Ducks are weak animals that can be easily dominated,” said Quenneville. “I put these games in the locker room so we can gain some confidence heading into the playoffs by blasting animated ducks over and over again.”
“We’re overjoyed!” said SOAPnet exec Sally Benson. “These guys are way more melodramatic than our current shows and storylines. Will Kobe [Bryant] and Dwight [Howard] make up? Or will their rivalry tear this team apart? You’ll have to tune in to find out!”
In a shocking exposé that has cast a shadow over the entire NBA, Deadspin.com released a report alleging that, while the Lakers thought they had traded for perennial All-Star Dwight Howard, they actually acquired former Portland Trailblazer Greg Oden.
The Brits shot an amazing 89% from the field, and thanks to some nifty defenses drawn up by their mentor/owner Simon Cowell, they won going away, 116-90.
“Well, I’ve still got a mortgage on my house in Texas, so I’ll probably need to save about a million a year to pay for that and to get myself a nice condo in Cali. So at this point, the maximum amount I can set aside for coke would be $24 million each year, right everybody?”
Following the Chargers’ disappointing loss to the rival Broncos, Chargers GM A.J. Smith gave embattled coach Norv Turner yet another vote of confidence, hoping to quell the rumors that Turner’s job is on the line this season.