Over the next several weeks, The Heckler will present "The 15 Habits of Highly Happy Cubs Fans," a section of The Cubs Fan's Guide To Happiness, a revolutionary self-help book jam-packed with principles every Cubs fan lives by. Chapters include:

There's Always Next Year

Beer Will Make It Better!™

Everybody Needs a Scapegoat (or Even Just a Goat)

It's Not Over Until You're Mathematically Eliminated

Winning Really Isn't Everything

Loyaltiness is Next to Godliness

At Least You're Not a Sox Fan

The Power of Low Expectations

*Plus special sections, practical applications and more

The Guide will be released in late March by Triumph Books, an imprint of Random House. It is the first book deemed worthy of The Heckler's official seal of approval. Pre-order your copy now and save off the regular price.

Habit #1: High-five more often.

This is not a new concept. Since the dawn of time, mankind has celebrated accomplishment through the slapping of palms. When the first caveman invented shorts by hanging a bush around his mid-section, his hunchbacked friends were there to give him a high-five (at that point in the evolutionary chain, it may have technically been a high-four, but that would be a total digression). While the specific manner in which the high-five is executed has changed over the years—it was even the low-five for a while—the premise remains the same. You get so excited about something you can't hold it in any longer, and you slap hands with the person closest to you.

If you happen to be celebrating a home run at Wrigley Field, you usually don't even know who the high-fivee is. But at that moment, during that ritual smack of flesh on flesh, you form a bond with your fellow man. This bond not only reinforces your humanity, it allows you to make a positive connection whenever you please, and that's the kind of experience Cubs fans seek out in life.

Read more at CubsGuide.com