Cubs 3, Dodgers 1
At Wrigley Field
May 28, 2008

As usual, the presence of ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews overshadowed everything that occurred on the field Tuesday night. The light haired goddess' three on-camera appearances and seven in-game reports -- not that I was counting -- brought meaning and purpose to an otherwise dull evening. Oh yeah, the Cubs won 3-1.

Cubs at the plate
Frigid air and winds howling in off Lake Michigan had the Cubs bats in a state of hibernation, until they finally broke through with three runs in the seventh. Jim Edmonds -- who went 0 for 4 -- is now hitting .167, which sounds more like a Lake Shore Drive express bus than a Major Leaguer's batting average (oh, so many jokes to be made about Jim Edmonds, so little time remaining in his career).

Cubs on the mound
Another strong performance by Sean Gallagher (seven innings, one run) earned him more time in the starting rotation. Carlos Marmol entered in the eighth and resembled Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn, loading the bases with just an out before getting serious and retiring two straight. After the game, Marmol joined veteran catcher Henry Blanco at an upscale French restaurant and reportedly asked Blanco if the menu includes chili dogs.

Dodgers at the plate
For the second straight night, the Dodgers squandered countless scoring opportunities, especially in the eighth. Sources say manager Joe Torre, the epitome of calm on TV, went into his hotel bathroom late Tuesday night, stared creepily into the mirror, and screamed at the top of his lungs for two consecutive minutes.

Dodgers on the mound
Hiroki Kuroda dominated the Cubs for six and one-third innings but was then yanked with a 1-0 lead in favor of Jonathan Broxton, who proceeded to relinquish three runs, thus spoiling Kuroda's chance for the win. Following the game, Kuroda gathered a posse, waited for Broxton outside the clubhouse, and beat the reliever up.

Next up for the Cubs
The Cubs look to sweep the Dodgers behind ace Carlos Zambrano, who faces the struggling Derek Lowe (2-5, 5.03 ERA). For the fashion-conscious, the Cubs plan to sport their alternate blue jersey tops, which Zambrano favors because they make him look slightly less obese than pinstripes do.

Number of the game: 11
Erin Andrews' level of attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10. Kind of the 'hotness' equivalent of Reed Johnson always giving it 110%.  

Quote of the game
"He's probably still hungover from last year's playoff clinching celebration," – Lou Piniella, when asked about second baseman Mike Fontenot's 0 for 4 performance.

By Louie Lazar