When the city of Chicago imposed a one-hour alcohol ban at Wrigleyville taverns beginning in the seventh inning of all potential clincher games this postseason, the bar owners acted quickly, teaming with Old Style to unveil the 80-oz. "Clinch Can."

"When the sixth inning rolls around, we plan to bust out hundreds of Clinch Cans and unload them for $25 each," said Sluggers owner Zach Scotts. "Just one can should last a fan at least an hour, although many drink like absolute fish, so I guess you never know."

Mayor Daley, whose administration has never enforced a similar ban for any White Sox games, was incensed.

"Look, we need law and order in this city and drunk people don't know how to keep law and order," said Daley. "Going dry for an hour is a reasonable solution, and these wise guys think they can go around my rules with this giantic can. It's not going to work."

Daley said he had not yet come up with a way to combat the Clinch Can, but hasn't ruled out knocking down Wrigley Field in the middle of the night prior to a big game or arresting most of the Cubs roster in the middle of a playoff game.

From the October 2008 issue by Brad Zibung, founder and editor in chief