Cubs' play-by-play man Len Kasper is one step closer to becoming a bona-fide rock star, as opposed to his current wannabe rock star status. The quirky and quotable Kasper has just scored his first reality TV show, starring in Comcast SportsNet's "Announcer of Love."

Kasper claims the series will make Poison front man Bret Michaels of VH1's "Rock of Love" look as tame and non-threatening as the late Mister Rogers.

"I'm looking for a woman who can handle the crazy backstage scene that comes with being the Cubs' announcer," said Kasper. "I deal with ticket requests from long-lost relatives, 7 a.m. wake-up calls for day games and ridiculously uncomfortable seventh inning on-air interviews."

The reality show will focus on 15 women vying for the heart of the rogue lover Kasper. The contestants will attempt to win Kasper's heart by participating in a variety of competitions, such as finding the most robust rooster for Aramis Ramirez and the most potent juice-box for Mike Fontenot.

"I thought jamming on stage with Bob Brenly meant I had reached rock's highest stratosphere," Kasper said. "Having my own reality show eclipses that, but not by much. I should also mention at this point that I won't have a physical relationship with any of these women, as I am happily married."

From the May 2008 issue by Jimmy Juliano