Tigers News
Prince Fielder considers killing his father and changing name to King
Tigers first baseman Prince Fielder recently met with a Detroit Free Press lifestyles editor in his new Metro Detroit home. Although he’s adjusting to life with his generous new contract and is looking forward to putting up some big numbers, his focus is still on a goal he’s dreamed about since early childhood.
Delmon Young comes clean, says he was yelling ‘I hate to lose!’
After being arrested in New York last week for allegedly yelling hate speech and attacking a group of tourists, Tigers outfielder Delmon Young said at a press conference Monday morning he was actually yelling “I hate to lose!”
Theo still shocked Prince Fielder wasn’t lured to Chicago by covering I-94 in hot dogs and pizza
“I thought presenting that much food in front of such a plus-sized man was foolproof,” said Epstein. “Apparently Detroit offered him a car made out of butter or something instead.”
Prince Fielder’s review of Olive Garden’s ‘tiny portions’ goes viral
“I guess people in Tuscany must be like 80 pounds or something,” he said. “That’s the only explanation for these tiny booths and portions fit for a child. I don’t care if the waiters are wearing ties or the doorways are arched — I want more damn cheese-covered noodles.”
Inge family takes Brandon 1st in fantasy draft for league where HRs count negative-15
An Inge family friend has disclosed that for the eighth consecutive year Brandon Inge was the highest-rated player and top pick in the Inge family fantasy baseball league for 2012.
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Tigers fan looks to locate people who sat in near him in 2004 to prove he was first to hate Inge
Loyal Tigers fan and outspoken Brandon Inge critic Lesley “Les” Kowalski is running an ad in the classifieds looking for fans who have sat in section 216 of Comerica Park from 2004 to 2011 to validate his claim that he was the first to publicly denounce the once popular player.
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Inge infuriates Tigers with sewing errors in new role as equipment manager
After coming to spring training with a bodybuilder’s physique and stating he will do anything to stay with the Tigers, Brandon Inge made some enemies in his first day on the job as equipment manager by misspelling star slugger Miguel Cabrera’s name “CABRERROR” on the back of his jersey and mis-numbering second basemen Ramon Santiago’s jersey “E4.”
Inge hopes to remain with Tigers, even if it means serving as their mascot Paws
Should Inge’s move to second not pan out, Leyland said Inge was open to any spot on the 2012 squad, even if it meant the fan favorite would be inserted into the role of beloved Tigers mascot Paws.
Cespedes signed with A’s because he thought he’d get to work for Brad Pitt
Earlier this week, the Oakland A’s swooped in and basically stole coveted Cuban sensation OF Yoenis Cespedes, who accepted a four-year, $36 million deal. Of the teams apparently interested in signing him (the Cubs, White Sox, Marlins and Tigers among them) the Athletics were the surprise winner.
Jim Leyland: ‘I expect our pitchers to strike out every hitter next year … at least I pray they do’
“We have big power arms (starters such as AL MVP Justin Verlander, Doug Fister and Max Scherzer as well as a relief corps featuring flamethrowers such as Al Albuquerque and Jose Valverde), guys who, if they put their mind to it, should be able to just whiff anybody and everybody in the American League,” Leyland said after another delicious puff of sweet tobacco.
