With holes to fill in the bullpen and starting rotation, as well as other key positions like back-up catcher and utility infielder, the Cubs will introduce their 2018 15-man roster at this weekend’s annual Cubs Convention.
The Chicago Cubs have put out a $1 million reward to anyone who can snap a picture of their stone-faced ace, Kyle Hendricks, in the act of smiling.
Highly sought after free agent and Chuck Norris’ long-lost son, Jake Arrieta, has agreed to re-sign with the Cubs on the condition that he can wear a Smedium-sized jersey.
The Chicago Cubs today ceased operations after their billionaire owner Joe Ricketts learned the players belong to a union, which he vehemently opposes.
"After reviewing all three of Hernandez's home runs, we determined that one was invalid because it was hit off Hector Rondon, who got smoked all series long," said MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred. "The way Rondon pitched doesn't warrant that home run to count."
His Cubs may have been eliminated from the postseason Thursday night, but manager Joe Maddon is reportedly still running around the team's clubhouse in his jockstrap, in what insiders call a "crazy" outburst from the recently unhinged skipper.