The playoff hopes of the Colorado Avalanche were dealt a huge blow when their proposal to allocate 30 points from last year toward the upcoming season was rejected.

“Some people say it’s easy to make the playoffs because the league lets in half the teams,” said GM Greg Sherman. “Those people obviously didn’t notice we finished 30 points off the pace last season. That’s a huge gulf, so in the interest of fairness, we just thought maybe the league would let us keep some points for this year.”

Alas, league commissioner denied the request, citing the Edmonton Oilers, the only team worse than the Avalanche in 2010-2011.

“If we did it for Colorado, then we’d have to do it for Edmonton, too. It’s a slippery slope,” said Bettman. “Besides, they signed [goalie Jean-Sebastien] Giguere. That should add like four or five points right there.”

The Avalanche completed a home-away two-game sweep over the reeling and battered Blackhawks Wednesday night. Fleischmann’s four goals and two assists in the pair of games lead the way and are especially impressive considering he entered Monday’s contest in Colorado with just five goals and eight assist on the season.

NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman was on hand Wednesday after Colorado’s 4-3 win at the United Center to award the prestigious trophy to Fleischmann who had a hat trick on the night.

“Tomas Fleischmann, today and Monday you proved that it is possible to play outstanding hockey against the defending Stanley Cup Champions even when you’re from a normally irrelevant franchise such as yours,” said Bettman, who came up to Fleischmann’s chest despite standing on a four-foot tall wooden box. “Due to your excellent scoring output the last 72 hours, I’m honored to award you the Hart Memorial Trophy seven months early.”

For his part, Fleischmann remained humble after winning the award.

“It wasn’t that hard to score all those goals,” said Fleischmann. “I was able to cut through Chicago’s defenders like Swiss cheese and their goalie is young and easily fooled.”

Injuries and inconsistent play have caused Blackhawks coach Joel Quenneville to juggle player lines more than usual this season. Everybody from rarely-deployed defenseman Jordan Hendry to a seemingly random stream of Rockford Ice Hogs has made an appearance at forward for the Hawks.

But after Monday’s tough late loss to Colorado, Quenneville announced that his own mustache will join the team on the ice Wednesday instead of yet another call-up.

“The ‘energy line’ is expected to be tough,” said Quenneville. “Recent tests have confirmed that the gray streaks in my mustache are actual filaments of steel.”

The mustache will play center and be flanked by Hendry and the 6-ft. 8-in. John Scott, completing possibly the most ridiculous-looking line in team history. Yet it could have been stranger — some other possibilities for the roster spot included Duncan Keith’s teeth, Patrick Sharp’s winning smile and Jonathan Toews’ civil war-era sideburns.

“I heard it was the mustache’s idea,” said Scott in a whisper. “And around here, we listen to the ‘stash. Honestly, I wouldn’t wanna drop gloves with that thing.”

The mustache had no comment except to chew up a razor blade and spit it out.

By Dan Bradley. Photoshop by Pat Lamorte.

Another lackluster effort by the Blackhawks ended with a 6-3 loss to the Avalanche. It should also be noted that Yanic Perrault’s two goals came in the last two minutes of the game, when all was lost.

“It doesn’t matter when the goals come,” Perrault said after the game. “The stat sheet says two goals. That’s all I care about.”

Nikolai Khabibulin got the start again despite backup goalie Patrick Lalime’s recent success. Needless to say, Khabibulin’s struggles were not solved by the All-Star break.

“Khabibulin has played well against the Avalanche,” Denis Savard said. “That’s why I started him. Plus I know that Russians hate the people of Denver so I thought he’d step it up. Something about them being idealistic tree-hugging hippies. I’m not sure. I can’t always understand what he says.”

Number of the Night: 15

Total shots by the Blackhawks … that’s all three periods combined.