Following their 38-7 shellacking in Philadelphia Sunday night, President Donald Trump demanded the entire team be deported.
"The joy of traveling to Chicago during the middle of winter when the temperatures are well below freezing, only to be mobbed by a bunch of close-talking, chubby Cubs fans in sweat pants with nacho cheese on their faces is just the best," said Arrieta."A lot of those fans love to show off by proving to me that they know my stats better than I do. That never gets old. Trust me.
When you're as wacky as Joe Maddon, sometimes you wake up in an impound lot. That's what happened Friday morning when the Cubs manager's 1970s "Cousin Eddie" van was towed from outside the Cubs Convention hotel downtown, where it was apparently parked illegally.
With holes to fill in the bullpen and starting rotation, as well as other key positions like back-up catcher and utility infielder, the Cubs will introduce their 2018 15-man roster at this weekend’s annual Cubs Convention.
The Chicago Cubs have put out a $1 million reward to anyone who can snap a picture of their stone-faced ace, Kyle Hendricks, in the act of smiling.
“Under coach Nagy’s tutelage, we hope to have the chance to hold a clipboard on the sidelines, acting as if we’re interested, and being inactive for most games while collecting a combined $12 million next season,” the pair said in a joint statement.