NFL News
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Putin returns Super Bowl ring in exchange for Tebow’s autograph
In a statement issued by the team, Kraft said, “Mr. Putin recently tweeted about how happy he is that Tebow is now a member of the Patriots. So I asked Tim if he wouldn’t mind signing for the President so I can get my ring back.”
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Bears fan can’t wait to complain about fourth different offensive scheme in five years
With seemingly more offensive schemes in play than sacks given up by Gabe Carimi, the Chicago Bears will install yet another new system under the leadership of first year coach Marc Trestman. While it will be hard for some players to grasp the playbook, it’s likely to be more difficult for fans, who will contend [...]
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Tone-deaf Snyder and NFL change name to ‘Washington D.C. Redskins’
“We admit it — the last name was just ‘not right’ as so many people have claimed,” said Snyder. “Is the team from Seattle or something? Washington simply wasn’t clear enough.”
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Patriots sign Tebow to be Gronkowski’s chaperone
“We have a lot of money invested in Rob and we need to do what we can to protect that investment,” said Patriots coach Bill Belichick. “If that means paying some Bible-beating dork to stay in Rob’s shadow 24-seven, that’s what we’re going to do.”
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Bears successfully turn 1st-round pick into 6th-rounder with Carimi trade
The Bears dealt struggling tackle Gabe Carimi to the Buccaneers Sunday, successfully converting the 2011 first-round pick into a sixth-round pick in 2014.
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Evan Rodriguez changes uniform number to .17
The NFL has long frowned upon players changing uniform numbers in mid-career. That’s why it was a surprise when the league approved the Bears Evan Rodriguez new number, .17.
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JaMarcus Russell gets lost going to Halas Hall after 3-hour stop at Old Country Buffet
Security cameras at a local Old Country Buffet show six members of the staff carrying out of the restaurant a kicking-and-screaming Russell who was yelling “I’m still hungry you jackasses”
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ESPN blames Jay Cutler for death of Pro Football Weekly
After somehow blaming Cutler for RG3′s knee injury during the playoffs the channel now has pinned the death of Pro Football Weekly on the shoulders of the Bears quarterback and Cutler don’t know why.
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NFL moves next year’s draft to May 8 to avoid conflict with Goodell’s vacation
“The ‘Mrs.’ and I have a 25th wedding anniversary vacation planned that week in April,” commissioner Roger Goodell told the NFL Network. “Besides, I have about 250,000 Marriott points about to expire, so I need to cash them in pretty quick.”
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Adrian Peterson adds Vikings, taxes to list of things he doesn’t believe in
“Vikings? Really? I mean, you ever seen a guy with horns on his head?” said Peterson. “Seems crazy to me. Don’t believe in it. And taxes. Taxes, too. But that’s because it’s against my religious beliefs, or something.”
