NBA News
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Dwight Howard to sign with first team that lets him have ice cream for dinner
“When I was with the Lakers, they always told me that I could have ice cream after I ate my vegetables,” the 6’11” center told reporters. “I hate broccoli! It’s gross. I wanted to eat a pint of rocky road for dinner, and they never let me.”
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LeBron furious only Kobe and Jordan mentioned in Phil Jackson memoir
After Phil Jackson’s memoir, “Eleven Rings,” was revealed to contain a section where the Hall of Fame coach compared Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant, LeBron James has spoken out to media to express his displeasure that Jackson failed to mention him in the conversation, despite the fact that James never once was coached by the former Lakers and Bulls coach.
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Boozer appears on ‘Sesame Street’ to teach meaning of the word ‘amnesty’
“Normally amnesty means granting freedom to a large group of individuals, but in the case of the NBA, it’s what happens to an really, really overpaid player like me. You see, the team tells me ‘bye bye,’ but I still get paid. Crazy, right?”
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Rose declares himself ready for Game 6 tonight
“It feels good, man. You can’t rush these things, but now I’m finally back to where I can jump, cut, and move the way I know I can. I’m ready to help this team beat the Heat!” a confident Rose said.
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Report: David Stern forced Derrick Rose to fake injury as unofficial suspension for gambling
“Rose’s gambling had just gone out of control. He’s a hyper-competitive guy, and that manifested itself with all-night poker games and off-days spent in casinos, but it really crossed a line when he started betting on games.”
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Golden State coach says Festus Ezeli greatest center since Bill Russell
“Ezie’s potential to be an even better player than Russell is unbelievable. The kid didn’t even know what a basketball was until he was 15 years old and now he is on the verge of stardom,” Jackson said of the Nigerian-born pivot man.
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Chris Bosh denies being a velociraptor, tells reporters ‘NEEEYAHHHHH’
Bosh was clearly upset at the report, viewing it as an insult toward his general appearance and gangliness. He spoke long and eloquently at a press conference to deny these rumors, telling reporters, “NEEEYAHHHH, SCREEE SCREEE AYIYIYIYI NEEEUGHHH.”
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Ailing Deng to play in hospital gown Friday night
“Yeah, I’m not feeling well, but I need to be out there with my teammates no matter what,” said Deng. “Watching the last four games from a hospital bed while writhing in pain has really sucked.”
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Hawk Harrelson defends Derrick Rose, praises his ‘TWTS’
“And while most sports stars have TWTW: The Will To Win, Derrick is remarkable in that he has TWTS: The Will To Sit. I’ve never seen anything like it. His resolve is impenetrable.”
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Derrick Rose’s new business files for bankruptcy when employees don’t show; get paid anyway
“You gotta practice what you preach, you know?” Rose said. “I can’t fault my employees for not showing up to the office. It’s a policy I actively embrace with the Bulls.”
