Mets News
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Jason Bay retires ‘on top’ after going 3 for his last 5 with a grand slam
Mets overpaid, underproductive, terrible, and Canadian outfielder Jason Bay retired from the sport of baseball today after going on an unprecedented hot streak of three hits in his last five at-bats, including a grand slam.
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Mets to honor Chipper Jones with partial ownership in team
The Chipper Jones retirement tour rolls into Citi Field this week, and the Mets plan to honor the future Hall of Famer with his biggest gift yet: partial ownership in the Mets franchise.
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Mets shocked with Matt Harvey’s early success, thought they ‘would’ve already screwed him up somehow’
“Truthfully, I’m stunned right now and can’t believe what my eyes are watching when Matt starts games for us,” GM Sandy Alderson said after Wednesday’s win over Philly.
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McDonald’s offers free Mets stock with purchase of large soda
The company will now offer free stock in the New York Mets with the purchase of a large soda at retail price. McDonald’s also said that it had at one point considered just placing stock on the Dollar Menu, but $1 per share was deemed to be far too expensive for part ownership in the Mets.
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Mets busted by NYPD for fixing games by losing on purpose
A month-long investigation by the NYPD into the mysterious ineptness of the New York Mets to win games since the All-Star break has finally come up fruitful as manager Terry Collins, general manager Sandy Alderson, and numerous members of the Mets’ bullpen have been indicted for taking bribes to have the team lose nearly every game they play.
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From the Lastros to the Cleveland Frowns, The World’s Most Honest Sports Team Logos
Team names are fun, but they don’t always accurately reflect a franchise’s players and fans. Here at The Heckler, we’ve created a few alternate names and logos that are more descriptive of the teams they represent.
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RA Dickey to bring knucklepuck to NHL
When RA Dickey wrote his bestselling autobiography “Wherever I Wind Up,” not even he imagined that place would be the NHL. Starting this offseason, Dickey will work part time for the New York Islanders as the new “knucklepuck coach.”
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Dickey’s one-hitters attributed to conspiracy among umpires, says Buck Showalter
R.A. Dickey’s recent one-hitter against the Baltimore Orioles was his second consecutive one-hit performance and Baltimore’s manager is crediting the knuckleballer’s success to a massive conspiracy implicating every single umpire in baseball.
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Internet braces for slew of bad puns from hack writers in light of R.A. Dickey craze
“Just like Linsanity, it’s only a matter of time before we get sick and tired of hearing about this feel-good story of an overachieving knuckleballer,” said one blogger. “Seriously folks, it’s going to get RA-Dickey-lous!”
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Eli Manning dons Mets gear at Citi Field, promptly tears ACL, MCL
Eli Manning was honored over the weekend as “Most Valuable Dad” at Citi Field in a Father’s Day tribute. The Mets brought in the two-time champion in the hopes he would help generate some ticket sales. The publicity stunt was a failure however, when Manning was injured by a rogue staircase during his attempt to [...]
