Big Ten Luncheon: Watch your wife!
The Big Ten finished off its pre-season media gathering this week with Friday’s coaches luncheon at the Hyatt on Wacker. It’s a time for coaches to address fans who pay entirely too much for lunch and brag about their respective programs. Apparently it’s also a time to make suggestive comments about each other’s wives and remind us all just how old and boring most coaches are. Here are some highlights:
Brent Musberger was the emcee of the event, which was just a reminder that we basically can’t avoid him for the next eight months if we want to watch any Big Ten action. His lone entertaining line in his intro was about Joe Tiller’s special salad dressing being served: “snake oil and vinegar (a reference to Tiller recently calling new Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez a snake oil salesman for his recruiting tactics).” Hilarious.
Penn State coach Joe Paterno was charming, as always. But he couldn’t stop talking about Rodriguez’s wife, Rita. He went on and on about how hot she was as a cheerleader when Rodriguez played at West Virginia. And he wouldn’t stop. To the point of it being a bit creepy. Although we wonder if a summer-winter romance could ever occur between the two – she in her 40s and he being 112.
Continuing on the wife trend, Minnesota coach Tim Brewster made a point of introducing his wife, Cathleen. We didn’t get a great look at her, but the general consensus is: We’d hit that.
Also, Tim Brewster is really, really boring.
Michigan State coach Mark Dantonio talked about how his team’s first priority was to “make the right choices.” Like, don’t smoke crack and don’t quit going to class right before a bowl game. Oh, and don’t go to State, but that’s a given.
Indiana coach Bill Lynch said he was going to keep his comments short, because he had to go to the bathroom. Word on the street is that the Hoosiers will be sponsored by Flomax this year. (Zing!)
Rodriguez again introduced his wife, RitaRod, to the crowd. The consensus: We woulda hit that 20 years ago.
Rodriguez also joked about the controversy surrounding his leaving WVU and heading to Ann Arbor. His best one liner, when addressing Musberger’s comment about there being “Wanted" posters all around in West Virginia: “We gotta drive through West Virginia. It’s more than posters, they sell a lot of guns in that state. If there’s one thing we can all agree on in the Big Ten, it’s that West Virginia is vastly inferior to all of us.
The final speakers were Ohio State linebacker James Laurinaitis and coach Jim Tressel, who said absolutely nothing of any interest whatsoever. I would make a joke about this, but they’ve been to two straight BCS title games, so maybe they’re doing something right.
Only 31 days until the start of the football season. Let’s get pumped!
By Matt Wood, intrepid reporter
Brent Musberger was the emcee of the event, which was just a reminder that we basically can’t avoid him for the next eight months if we want to watch any Big Ten action. His lone entertaining line in his intro was about Joe Tiller’s special salad dressing being served: “snake oil and vinegar (a reference to Tiller recently calling new Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez a snake oil salesman for his recruiting tactics).” Hilarious.
Penn State coach Joe Paterno was charming, as always. But he couldn’t stop talking about Rodriguez’s wife, Rita. He went on and on about how hot she was as a cheerleader when Rodriguez played at West Virginia. And he wouldn’t stop. To the point of it being a bit creepy. Although we wonder if a summer-winter romance could ever occur between the two – she in her 40s and he being 112.
Continuing on the wife trend, Minnesota coach Tim Brewster made a point of introducing his wife, Cathleen. We didn’t get a great look at her, but the general consensus is: We’d hit that.
Also, Tim Brewster is really, really boring.
Michigan State coach Mark Dantonio talked about how his team’s first priority was to “make the right choices.” Like, don’t smoke crack and don’t quit going to class right before a bowl game. Oh, and don’t go to State, but that’s a given.
Indiana coach Bill Lynch said he was going to keep his comments short, because he had to go to the bathroom. Word on the street is that the Hoosiers will be sponsored by Flomax this year. (Zing!)
Rodriguez again introduced his wife, RitaRod, to the crowd. The consensus: We woulda hit that 20 years ago.
Rodriguez also joked about the controversy surrounding his leaving WVU and heading to Ann Arbor. His best one liner, when addressing Musberger’s comment about there being “Wanted" posters all around in West Virginia: “We gotta drive through West Virginia. It’s more than posters, they sell a lot of guns in that state. If there’s one thing we can all agree on in the Big Ten, it’s that West Virginia is vastly inferior to all of us.
The final speakers were Ohio State linebacker James Laurinaitis and coach Jim Tressel, who said absolutely nothing of any interest whatsoever. I would make a joke about this, but they’ve been to two straight BCS title games, so maybe they’re doing something right.
Only 31 days until the start of the football season. Let’s get pumped!
By Matt Wood, intrepid reporter
posted by Hecklerazzi at 1:30 AM
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