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Heckler Chat Room: Today's topic is the Cubs.com Virtual Waiting Room (tm) Friday, Feb. 22, 2008 Best one-liners wind up in the Heckler Hall of Infamy Welcome to The Heckler's chat room. Today's topic is the annual frustration fest better-known as the day Cubs tickets go on sale. Now is your chance to let your voice be heard. Clemens testifies against wife, has zero chance of getting any Valentine's Day action Wednesday, Feb. 13, 2008 Friend of Debbie Clemens confident Rocket will spend holiday on the couch Under oath and risking his entire reputation, Roger Clemens told Congress he has never used steroids or human growth hormone, although his wife has. The admission, used to poke holes in an incriminating testimony from Andy Pettitte, guaranteed Clemens will not have any Valentine's Day sex this year. Dale Junior fans get updated tattoos to reflect new number Monday, Feb. 11, 2008 Also sign up for National Guard in line at tattoo parlor Dale Earnhardt Jr. fans didn't have much time to celebrate their man's win in the Budweiser Shootout at Daytona Motor Speedway on Saturday. They were rushing to Terminator Ink Tattoo Parlor in Daytona to get their "8" tattoos updated to feature Dale Junior's new number 88. Heckler Comic: Bear market in sports for Baylor and South Oak Cliff HS Tuesday, January 29, 2008 The Bear market is going up--for Baylor--and down--for South Oak Cliff HS. NASCAR Notes: Montoya reveals he learned English reading Penthouse; Car of Tomorrow becomes car of today Tuesday, Jan. 22, 2008 Over|Under with Pete Rose October 2007 October is finally here, so you know what that means: I can't bet against the Reds until next season. It's too bad, because I made a ton of green the last six months on those losers. You're my dog, Bronson Arroyo! But enough about the regular season—it's playoff time and I've got your October Picks to Click right here, America. Let's gamble! Over|Under with Pete Rose April 2007 I'm sick of it becoming a media event every time I talk about what I've bet on. So let's get it all out of the way. While managing the Reds, I bet on baseball, junior high softball games, cock fights, who shot JR, two-week old Chinese food, the Oscars, high school elections, hobo fights, where Marge Schott's dog would deuce next, players' STD test results and the drinking games at local fraternities. Actually, the only thing I won't bet on is the stock market. My bookie offers the only retirement plan I need. Let's gamble! Over | Under with Pete Rose November 2006 The holidays are approaching, so it's time to win some big money before shopping season. Never underestimate the power of some well-placed Christmas cheer to accomplish your goals. I'm thinking a nice jelly of the month club membership for Hank Aaron might get me into the Hall. Let's gamble! Man realizes 'Deliverance' wasn't the best movie to bring on canoeing trip The Daily Heckle II, Monday, Sept. 25, 2006 The Heckler Outdoor Report When Ted Holdman found out the cabin he and three others would be staying in had a DVD player, he thought it would be the perfect chance for his friends to watch a critically acclaimed movie. Unfortunately, as Holdman admitted later, watching "Deliverance" the night before a big canoeing trip was not a very good idea. Snowboarder shamed by clean drug test Tuesday, February 21, 2006 'Dude, I'm serious, I was totally high,' claims Seth Skylar A drug scandal has rocked the snowboarding world, as the results of a recent drug test taken by U.S. Olympian Seth Skylar came back negative. U.S. Olympic team excels at sports no one cares about Wednesday, February 15, 2006 Still manages to anger rest of the world The U.S. 2006 Winter Olympics team is getting the cold shoulder. Primed to seriously compete in more events than ever before, the talented U.S. contingent has simultaneously managed to embarrass itself by demonstrating interest in silly snow sports as well as anger former NATO allies by depriving them of the singular joys they can count on once every four years. |
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