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The Heckler - Opinion/Blog Archives

Loco Rob: I know what the Cubs need next summer
September 2, 2006
Let's face it, Cubs fans: The Cubs officially had themselves a little fire sale this summer. They're the "Snakes on a Plane" of baseball, a real disappointment despite lots of hype. I was sitting there wishing I was watching "Talladega Nights," but that's only because I was suffering through the rubber game of the Cardinals series.
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Doug the Sox Fan: Surviving the post-Neifi era
September 2, 2006
Well, the inevitable happened: Cubs GM Jim Hendry realized that of the eight nonpitching position players a team can field, a maximum of five should be second basemen.
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Hecklerazzi: The down and dirty on Chicago's sports community
Did you see Brian Urlacher sacking a stripper? Kerry Wood shopping for a new arm sling? Ben Wallace getting a haircut? Send tips, photos and videos to Hecklerazzi today: tips@theheckler.com.
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Upload your own photos to The Heckler's fan gallery
Monday, Dec. 4, 2006
Here's your chance to show off your experiences at sporting venues around the country.
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One for the 'Boys'
Thursday, Dec. 14, 2006
New TBS comedy brings sexes together through baseball
New Chicago-based TBS comedy tries to bring sexes together through baseball, beer and wings
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Lame excuses abound as fans continue to ignore Bulls
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Why aren't you watching?
If Bulls 2007 season was a Disney movie, this would be one of those gut-check moments.
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BEHIND ENEMY VINES: Witnessing History
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
By Doug the Sox Fan
Due to the convergence of various external factors in my schedule, it turned out that, of the three Sox home games this past week against Texas, I chose Wednesday night's game to attend. It is safe to say I'm glad it worked out that way.
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Hecklerazzi: Spotted (and partied with): Bruce Bochy and his merry band of Giants
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
The postgame party at Hi-Tops Monday featured the league's oldest team, including its skipper and a surprisingly still-in-the-league Ryan Klesko.
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Hecklerazzi: Spotted: A ton of Cubs at Kerry Wood's bowling event
Monday, July 23, 2007
The Heckler scored a couple press passes for Kerry Wood and Derrek Lee's Project 3000 bowling fundraiser Sunday night. Here's the proof
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Hecklerazzi: Spotted in River North: Chris Duhon and (probably) Michael Jordan
Friday, Aug. 3, 2007
Heckler spotter Regan was out Thursday night celebrating his birthday (Happy Birthday Regan!) and wound up at BB's in River North (I hadn't heard of it either) and he stumbled upon Bulls backup Chris Duhon.
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Doug the Sox Fan: Trade deadline inactivity
Monday, Aug. 6, 2007
Baseball's most disappointing team made only one deal at the deadline
Baseball's most disappointing team made only one minor deal at the deadline
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Hecklerazzi: Spotted: Joakim Noah on Wrigley rooftop, rooting for the Mets
Monday, Aug. 6, 2007
The Bulls No. 1 pick was clowning it up on a Wrigley rooftop Sunday night, making friends with blondes and cheering for the Mets
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Bears training camp report: Two thumbs down to Transformers
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Unable to bear heat, reporter bails practice for A/C movie theater.
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Heckler blog: Fat Bobby's record and Captain Kirk's departure
Tuesday, Aug. 14, 2007
Bobby Jenks' pending consecutive outs record is one of the most impressive in sports and Kirk Hinrich's departure from Team USA furthers the demise of national ball.
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Hecklerazzi: Spotted: Devin Hester and his pimped-out ride
The Bears return man was seen in his convertible, but get this: He pumps his own gas
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Doug the Sox Fan pays some attention to the Cubs
Monday, September 24, 2007
The Cubs are in first; the Sox are in last. You'd think that I, like most Sox fans, would be teetering on the edge of a high-rise balcony, a half-finished fifth of Jack Daniels in my hand.
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Season Preview: Despite injuries, Bulls look poised to win it all ... maybe
Wednesday, Oct. 31, 2007
Still down in the dumps after a wretched Cubs postseason performance? Do the inconsistent Bears have you teetering on the brink of sanity? Never fear, the Bulls are here.
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Stayin' Alive: Bears get an assist from The Heckler in Oakland
The Bears Report, Tuesday, Nov. 13, 2007
A few members of The Heckler staff accompanied the struggling Bears to California's Bay Area in hopes of giving the NFC Champs the hometown love needed to fend off the Oakland Raiders and their notoriously hostile fans.
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Yes, I regret predicting the Bulls would win it all
Wednesday, Nov. 14, 2007
But through the power of creative thinking, this season doesn't have to totally suck
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Fists of Flurry: The Heckler Goes to the AIBA Championships
Sunday, Nov. 4, 2007
Even though it took place in Chicago, event had strong international feel
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Doug the Sox Fan: Shame on you, corporate America!
Monday, Dec. 17, 2007
Corporate America missed an excellent opportunity this week to take a strong stand against cheating and drug abuse. Typically, they waited back like cowards and then, in the weeks ahead, will try to act as if they had intended all along to "do the right thing."
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Shameless Self-Promotion: The Heckler gets some Tribune and Sun-Times love
Monday, Jan. 21, 2008
The January 2008 issue of The Heckler was a big hit with Paul Sullivan and Elliott Harris
The January 2008 issue of The Heckler was a big hit with Paul Sullivan and Elliott Harris

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The Heckler's 2008 Cubs Convention photo gallery
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Check out The Heckler's 2008 Cubs Convention pics and share your own too
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She Makes the Call: Tell me how much you missed me
Saturday, Jan. 26, 2008
Jen makes a triumphant return to the pages of The Heckler with her January 2008 column.
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From disappointing to disastrous: a Bulls mid-season report
Wednesday, Feb. 20, 2008
Go ahead and try to name a highligh from the first half
Here's your challenge of the day: Try to think of one Bulls' highlight from the first half of this season. Go ahead ... we have time. We'll wait.
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Heckler On the Town: A night at the Blackhawks game
Thursday, Feb. 21, 2008
Staffers hit up Blackhawks-Wild game
I decided to check the Blackhawks out in person for the first time in more than five years. It was a damn good time.

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Heckler Blog: Cubs choose dollars over fans' best interests ... again
Thursday, Feb. 21, 2008
Fewer games on WGN, means bad things down the road.
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Heckler Gear: Get it while it's hot
Friday, August 03, 2007
T-shirts starting at $7. Subscriptions to The Heckler's hard copy available too. Great gift idea. 100% Original, 100% Chicago.
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Heckler On the Town: A night at the Rush game
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Sitting front and center at any sporting event is usually a great time. The Rush is no exception.
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Heckler On the Town: Wolves are low-cost family-friendly option
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
It's a great time to be a hockey fan in Chicago. The upstart Blackhawks are in an underdog battle for a playoff spot and the Wolves are a playoff lock and the enthusiastic fanbase knows it.
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Heckler Review: Harry Caray impersonator AT&T ads are awful
Friday, March 7, 2008
I'm embarrassed to say that I am currently connected to the through AT&T. That's how much I hate the telecom's new ads featuring Harry Caray impersonator John Caponera.
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Shameless Plug: The Heckler's mentioned in today's Daily-Herald
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Thanks to Heckler reader Brad H. for pointing this one out. Daily-Herald sports columnist Mike Imrem referenced The Heckler in his column today:
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Try out ChicagoSports.com's lame do-it-yourself Wrigley marquee application
Thursday, March 13, 2008
ChicagoSports.com has a link on their homepage encouraging fans to post their ideas for Wrigley's name to the famed marquee and then the site magically puts it on the marquee. Here's ours ...
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WNBA's Chicago Sky finally makes headlines, but it's not for something good
Chicago Sky coach/GM Bo Overton resigned Wednesday, according to a team news release. A more accurate way of putting it would be that he "was fired for sexually harassing team members."
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Spotted: Bill Murray partying it up with The Heckler and friends
Monday, March 31, 2008
Legendary Cubs fan drops by the 100th Annual Next Year Day
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Shameless Self-Promotion: Oh man, we're media whores
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Huge week for The Heckler in the press
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Spotted: Chick fight outside Wrigley
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
When we get something as special as a short grainy cell phone video of a girl fight outside Wrigley, you're damn right we'll share it.
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Spotted: Ben Gordon at Jay-Z/Mary J. Blige show
Monday, April 28, 2008
He wasn't playing in the postseason and he wasn't smiling for our pic either.
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Shameless Self-Promotion: The Heckler gets major shoutout from Len and Bob
Friday, May 9, 2008
The boys in the TV booth dig our May issue
The boys in the TV booth dig our May issue
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Shameless Self-Promotion: Mariotti mention Len and Bob's shoutout for some reason
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Sun-Times columnist asks when the madness will end
Sun-Times columnist asks when the madness will end
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Loco Rob: Confessions of a half-lifelong Cubs fan
Sunday, June 15, 2008
This month, I will reach a milestone birthday, which is as good excuse as any to clear my conscience, or at least rearrange the contents.
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Shameless Self-Promotion: Joe Malonecki steals show on NBC-5
Monday, June 30, 2008
Joe Malonecki rocked the NBC-5 morning show live from US Cellular Field Friday and next thing you know the South Siders sweep the Cubs.
The Heckler's South Side report rocked the NBC-5 morning show live from US Cellular Field Friday
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Big Ten Football Luncheon Recap: Watch your wife!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
The Big Ten Luncheon is a time for coaches to brag about their programs and make suggestive comments about each other's wives
The Big Ten Luncheon is a time for coaches to brag about their programs and make suggestive comments about each other's wives
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Daley Plaza Cubs rally manages to bring out a few haters
Wednesday, Oct. 1, 2008
The Daley Plaza rally Tuesday brought out the Cubs legends, but also a few haters.
The Daley Plaza rally Tuesday brought out the Cubs legends, but also a few haters.
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Spotted: Jeff Samardzija getting booed at UFC 90
Monday, October 27, 2008
The Allstate Arena big screen flashed a clip of the Cubs pitcher in attendance, and he was booed loudly.
The Allstate Arena big screen flashed a clip of the Cubs pitcher in attendance, and he was booed loudly.
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On the Town: Seabrook charity bowling event draws a crowd
Monday, Nov. 10, 2008
I was lucky enough to attend Saturday afternoon at Brent Seabrook's first-ever Celebrity Ice Bowl at 10pin. The event raised money for the Inner-City Education Program.
I was lucky enough to attend Saturday afternoon at Brent Seabrook's first-ever Celebrity Ice Bowl at 10pin. The event raised money for the Inner-City Education Program.
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At the Game: 'Bron, Benny, the Bulls and some short white dudes
Monday, Nov. 10, 2008
Our intrepid reporter took in the Bulls-Cavs game this weekend
Our intrepid reporter took in the Bulls-Cavs game this weekend
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Congratulations to Lil Janes, winner of The Heckler's Cubs Convention Bleacher Ticket Giveaway!
Wednesday, Jan. 21, 2009
Sponsored by Gold Coast Tickets
Cubs Convention attendee Lil Janes won this year's Bleacher Ticket Raffle Sponsored by The Heckler and Gold Coast Tickets.
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Severed goat head at Wrigley takes it too far
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
As was widely reported earlier this week, a severed goat head was found hanging outside Wrigley before Monday's home opener. After seeing an exclusive pic of the incident, I think we can all agree this stunt took it all just a little too far.
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7 things I've learned about Blackhawks hockey this season
Monday, April 20, 2009
Prior to this season, I'd attended a grand total of two Hawks games in the nine years I've lived in Chicago. This year I hit up eight. I'm still 100 percent a novice, but I've learned a ton about the sport, the team and the fans. Here's a sampling.
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You may now disembark the band wagon
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Before you give up on the Cubs, keep in mind it's only May
Well, the season is fully underway, and many Cubs fans are feeling underwhelmed. The season hasn't, uh, exactly exceeded expectations so far. Before I go any further, however, let me just state that IT IS ONLY MAY, PEOPLE!
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What can I say? I'm a total tease
Saturday, May 9, 2009
It's not my fault I've been gone. It's Charlie's.
Last season, I was set to return as a regular in The Heckler's pages. I promised my devoted readers that my hiatus was temporary insanity due to wedding planning. I had every intention of making a true comeback, with bigger and better columns to entertain the masses.
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The losing might not finally be over
Friday, May 22, 2009
The Life and Times of Loco Rob
I shouldn't criticize the Cubs for not having won the World Series in 100 years. That's because I haven't been married in 50 years. The stat wasn't easy for me to earn.
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Spotted: Nikolai Khabibuln at Jake Melnick's
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Word on the street is that Nikolai Khabibulin was at Jake Melnick’s (41 E Superior) Wednesday night, doing a number on a plate of XXX hot wings.
Word on the street is that Nikolai Khabibulin was at Jake Melnick's (41 E Superior) Wednesday night, doing a number on a plate of XXX hot wings.
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Will Ferrell on SNL means another bad 'Harry Carey' impression
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Living in Chicago, it's impossible to go a day or two without hearing a Harry Caray impression, so perhaps I'm not the best person to rate this, but Ferrell's latest attempt on SNL was particularly bad.
It's impossible to go a day or two without hearing a bad Harry Caray impression in Chicago, but Ferrell's latest attempt on SNL was particularly bad.
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Event Alert: Ernie Banks signing copies of 'Hoodoo' at Harry Caray's Tuesday
Monday, June 15, 2009
Also signing will be the book's co-authors, Grant DePorter, Elliott Harris and Mark Vancil
Cubs icon Ernie Banks will be autographing copies of Hoodoo: Unraveling the 100-Year Mystery of the Chicago Cubs
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She Makes the Call: Just call me the Chunky Cubbie
Thursday, June 18, 2009
By Jen Sullivan, Heckler columnist
There's no getting around it: I am fat. I'm too fat to wear that, "that" being any and all non-elasticized clothing in my wardrobe. My baby may be the reason I'm fat, but after 6 months, he can no longer be my excuse. It's time for a change.
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Run Nazi dictating Cubs season
Thursday, July 9, 2009
The Life and Times of Loco Rob
The Run Nazi is having a good time banishing the Cubs from the Home Plate Deli. He wears that Dali mustache that Rollie Fingers wore beneath a lascivious smile and screams, "No runs for you!" Though the Cubs escape from the Deli with all the bread they ask for, they generally are denied by the Run Nazi.
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She Makes the Call: Jen's getting old
Tuesday, Aug. 25, 2009
By Jen Sullivan, Heckler columnist
This month marks the end of an era. It's not as major as, say, the end of "Beverly Hills, 90210," but it's big. In a few days, I will no longer be the young drunk without a care in the world. I'm turning 30. It pains me to even write it, but I must face the facts. I'm getting old.
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Loco Rob: A Christmas carol for the Cubs
Wednesday, Dec. 23, 2009
The Life and Times of Loco Rob
It's that season when you count your blessings, although if you're a Cubs fan you usually have to settle for counting bygones and letting them be gone. Maybe this time, however, you should reflect on your favorite Cubs moments of long ago.
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Join The Heckler at Harry Caray's new Navy Pier location March 1
Friday, Feb. 19, 2010
We're getting up bright and early and you should too
We're getting up bright and early and you should too
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March Mania: Off the Street Club fund-raiser 3/19
Saturday, Feb 20, 2010
Raise money for Chicago's oldest boys and girls club
Raise money for Chicago's oldest boys and girls club
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Doug the Sox Fan scouts Midwest baseball
August 18, 2005
For eight days last month, The Heckler’s Doug the Sox Fan attended nine games in eight different ballparks in eight different cities. He was accompanied by his fiancée, Erin, whom he calls a wonderful traveling partner despite being a Cub fan. The following is his account of the trip.
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Wood's Wanderings: Fear the 'fro? I think not
July 6, 2006
As a Pistons fan, I'm so torn about this whole Ben Wallace signing with the Bulls. Even after a few days of letting it sink in, it's still hard to believe one of the key pieces to the 2004 championship run is gone -- one of the five starters that have been a key part of this team for the past three years -- and to a division rival, no less. Hell, not even just a division rival. It's the Bleeping Baby Bulls!
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Wood's Wanderings: Living in a fantasy world
July 10, 2006
I stayed up well past my Sunday night bedtime last night, watching the Cardinals and Astros play a 12-inning marathon on ESPN. But it wasn't because I gave a crap about either team. No, I was tied in stolen bases in my fantasy matchup and needed Astros outfielder Willy Taveras steal a base and get me a win for the week.
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Wood's Wanderings: All-Star edition
July 12, 2006
Some thoughts from last night's All-Star Game...
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She Makes the Call: Oh Matty, why won't you pay attention to me?
June, 2006
The highlight of my Memorial Day game was not, as expected, a sing-along with Vince Vaughn. Nor was it my first delectable corn dog of the year (although it was delicious). I actually found myself a new prospect to drool over.
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BEHIND ENEMY VINES: Let the Bidding Begin
Monday, April 9, 2007
By Doug the Sox Fan
I suppose I'd be remiss if I neglected to offer my thought on THE BIG NEWS, the development that no Chicago media outlet can avoid--the impending sale of the Chicago Cubs.
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Doug the Sox Fan scouts the East Coast baseball experience
Monday, September 10, 2007
In a continuing effort to see every Major League Baseball stadium, Doug the Sox Fan and his wife, Erin the Cubs Fan, embarked on a voyage recently to the East Coast to see six games in nine days. Here is his report on the effort that covered eight states, several beers, and a Heckler travel stipend that ran out after four minutes.
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