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Pull my finger Saturday, October 18, 2008 Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo might try and play Sunday despite broken finger Tony Romo might try and play Sunday against the St. Louis Rams  Camp cupcakeTuesday, August 26, 2008 The Heckler cartoon by Rick Atkinson The Dallas Cowboys don't exactly have the toughest camp in the NFL. Wade still in charge of Cowboys; Garrett still head coach in waiting Thursday, Aug. 14, 2008 Cowboys offensive coordinator Jason Garrett will have to wait at least one more season to become head coach.  The Heckler's August '08 Issue is outFriday, Aug. 8, 2008 Among the headlines: Scalpers yet to feel impact of recession, Ramirez gets portrait painted while watching HR The August 2008 edition of The Heckler is out on the streets and is guaranteed to make you laugh or your money back. Pick up your free copy in Chicago today, or subscribe and get it delivered to your home, office, email address or prison cell. 'Jets Suck. Brett Favre Swallows!!!' T-shirts flying off Chicagoland shelves Thursday, Aug. 7, 2008 Focus of Bears fans' hatred shifts to Meadowlands as former Packer dealt to NY Just minutes after Brett Favre was traded to the Jets Thursday morning, Bears fans everywhere began hating the AFC team with the same level of ire they directed at the future Hall of Fame QB during the 16 years he played in Green Bay.  Jessica reports to Cowboys campTuesday, August 05, 2008 The Heckler cartoon by Rick Atkinson Jessica Simpson reports to Cowboys camp. California earthquake may have been caused by Jerry Jones' ego Jerry Jones, Cowboys' egos too much for fault line to bear Jerry Jones, Cowboys won't be invited back to California after Tuesday's earthquake.  Heckler Comic: Jerry's deal with the DevilFriday, July 25, 2008 By Rick Atkinson Cartoon by Rick Atkinson Cowboys fans put preseason blinders on, predict Super Bowl title Friday, July 25, 2008 Rose-colored glasses sales are brisk With training camp now open, Cowboys fans have positive attitudes about upcoming season.  Cowboys fans under spell of Romo ManiaThursday, July 17, 2008 Rick Atkinson Romo mania grips Dallas Cowboy fans. Tony Romo to announce retirement; clears way for Favre-Johnson-Staubach quarterback battle Tuesday, July 15, 2008 Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo may announce retirement so he can spend more time with girlfriend Jessica Simpson. Al Gore: Global warming reason Rangers above 500 mark; Cowboys heading to California Sunday, July 13, 2008 Former Vice President Al Gore said Saturday during a speech that the Rangers' success this season can be attributed to global warming. Staubach launches comeback plan Saturday, July 12, 2008 After real estate windfall, QB eyes return to NFL Roger Staubach sold his commercial real estate company for at least $613 million. He could net $87.2 million. But it isn't the desire to retire from real estate that drove Staubach to sell his company, which will be purchased by Chicago based Jones Lang LaSalle Inc. Much like Packers on-again/off-again QB Brett Favre, Staubach says he longs to make a comeback.  Real Deal Dallas: Is Dale Hansen the Metroplex's best sportscaster?Thursday, July 24, 2008 By Todd Hutchinson The Cowboys' biggest critic has the area's biggest audience  No-ring circus for the CowboysWednesday, June 11, 2008 Plenty of drama shaping up for Jerry Jones and crew The Cowboys owner's latest creation promises never a dull moment Radio Brief: Pacman tests positive for Power Pellets Wednesday, Apr. 30, 2008 He might have a new team, but the cornerback is still getting in trouble. Heckler Comic: If Pacman is the answer, what was the question? Thursday, April 17, 2008 As the Cowboys try to work out a deal for the CB, one big question looms As the Cowboys try to work out a deal for the CB, one big question looms Heckler Comic: Dallas owners get reality show Friday, April 11, 2008 Which one is the biggest loser? Cuban, Jones and Hicks are set to compete in a Dallas-based sports reality show. Heckler Comic: Here comes the Trojan Hawg Tuesday, April 1, 2008 Jerry Jones plan to make Arkansas Dallas' team takes another turn ... The Michael Irvin Show to interview Pacman Jones Tuesday, March 25, 2008 'It ought to be a trainwreck' Adam "Pacman" Jones is coming to Dallas Tuesday--to do the Michael Irvin Show on ESPN Radio 103.3 FM. Jerry Jones finding ways to capitalize off potential Pacman signing Wednesday, March 12, 2008 Marketing opportunities abound should troubled CB join Cowboys Cowboys owner Jerry Jones may be the best marketer in the National Football League. Sources have found that the reason Jerry Jones is anxious to sign Adam "Pacman" Jones isn't because he's a shutdown cornerback. It's because Jones has tied millions of dollars of marketing campaigns to the NFL bad boy.  Dallas eyeing Pacman JonesMonday, March 10, 2008 New millennium Cowboys give chase to the 1970s Oakland Raiders outlaw image While Al Davis' Oakland Raiders won two Super Bowls with gamblers, drinkers and NFL outcasts, the current Dallas Cowboys are contemplating bringing in Adam "Pacman" Jones to their current cast of characters. Jerry Jones launches NFC East championship rings with QVC Beating Giants twice in regular season also commemorated Cowboys owner Jerry Jones teamed with QVC Monday to commission NFC East Division Championship rings. Heckler Comic: Geppetto Jerry's got his coaching staff on a string Monday, Feb. 4, 2008 Even Pinocchio admires his genuis The Cowboys owner seems to have a certain control over all his coaching staff.  Mercury Morris maintains reason to live as Pats fail to go undefeatedMonday, Feb. 4, 2008 Former '72 Dolphin holds on to last shred of cultural relevance Former RB Mercury Morris has long been a very outspoken member of the 1972 Dolphins, the NFL's last unbeaten team. When the Patriots' bid at perfection ended in dramatic fashion in Sunday night's Super Bowl, Morris was ecstatic, recognizing that he not lost his reason to live after all.  Emmitt Smith charged with murdering English languageSunday, Feb. 03, 2008 ESPN analyst and future Hall of Famer arrested outside Super Bowl studio U.S. Marshals arrested former Cowboys running back Emmitt Smith outside ESPN's "NFL Live" Super Bowl set this weekend where he was working as a football analyst. According to officials, he will be charged with a first-degree count of murdering the English language. Radio Brief: Despite team's success, Coughlin still finds things to be mad about Thursday, Jan. 31, 2008 The Giants head coach doesn't let the fact his team is in the Super Bowl get in the way of his desire to be ticked off. Next Jerry Jones plastic surgery to be featured on 'Dr. 90210' Wednesday, Jan. 30, 2008 Cowboys owner Jerry Jones--in a move that's sure to downplay any news regarding his team's front office moves--has announced his next facelift will be broadcast on an upcoming episode of the E! Network's "Dr. 90210."  Dance puppet, dance: Jerry Jones adds another minstrel with Campo signingWednesday, Jan. 30, 2008 Former head coach returns to lead Cowboys secondary With the addition of former head coach Dave Campo as his new secondary coach, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has officially assembled a crack coaching staff ready and waiting to do his bidding. Heckler Comic: Jerry Jones to address the Rooney Rule next year Tuesday, Jan. 22, 2008 'Garrett has great teeth' says Cowboys owner Flash foward to next year when the Cowboys owner introduces his new head coach.  Shocking developments keep Jason Garrett in Cowboys foldFriday, Jan. 18, 2008 Cowboys assistant is actually Jones' red-headed stepchild Jerry Jones stunned the gathered media at Thursday's Jason Garrett press conference to announce that he couldn't let Garrett go--because he is Jones' illegitimate love child. Heckler comic: Tony and Wade, happily heading into the offseason Thursday, Jan. 17, 2008 Cowboys duo singing a new tune The Cowboys coach and QB are so happy to be heading into the offseason they're singing a beautiful duet. Radio Brief: No football puts major strain on Dallas economy Wednesday, January 16, 2008 Dallas city officials are scrambling after banking on NFC Championship game income.  Tony Sparano joins Tuna and will swim with the FishWednesday, Jan. 16, 2008 Former Cowboys assistant heading to Dolphins Former Dallas Cowboys assistant head coach Tony Sparano is the new head coach of the Miami Dolphins. Sparano said his first order of business is to enforce a return to the power running game that includes pushing Dolphins draft choices to live up to their potential.  Going, going, gone: Romo loses playoff game, Jessica SimpsonSunday, Jan. 13, 2008 Friendly bet with Manning results in breakup for Cowboys QB The Cowboys were stunned, losing to the New York Giants 21-17 Sunday, but Dallas QB Tony Romo not only lost the game, he lost blond superstar girlfriend Jessica Simpson. Owens' tears leads to fan's jeers Sunday, Jan. 13, 2008 Surreal press conference feels like one of those Coors commercials Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens overcame a high ankle sprain to catch four passes for 49 yards and a touchdown in the Cowboys 21-17 loss to the Giants Sunday, but the man who overcame great physical pain was in tears during the post-game press conference. Jerry Jones emerges from Wade Phillips costume to reveal he's the real Cowboys coach Friday, Jan. 11, 2008 Speculation that Phillips was just a puppet is confirmed during press conference The media gathered for Cowboys head coach Wade Phillips ran in a state of panic when Phillips stepped back from the podium, began clawing at his face, and Cowboys owner Jerry Jones emerged from beneath the body suit.  How 'bout that Cowboy?Monday, Jan. 7, 2008 Romo and Simpson take well-publicized Mexican weekend vacation Cowboys QB Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson took a quick getaway to Mexico with members of Simpson's family and a few of Romo's teammates this weekend. According to reports, the pair couldn't keep their hands off each other. On Deck Radio Report: Hall again snubs mediocre former Cubs and other predictions Monday, Jan. 07, 2008 This week's predictions: It's not Glenallen Hill's HGH use that keeps him out of the Hall of Fame, Jerry Angelo puts faith in old unreliables, and star quarterbacks argue over who will do more off-field scoring. Wild 'Wild Weekend' in the NFL playoffs Monday, Jan. 7 2008 The Heckler goes 3 - 1 in predictions The Heckler recaps the NFL's Wild Card weekend.  'Get ya popcorn ready' for TO's return Jan. 13Thursday, Jan. 3, 2008 Cowboys' leading receiver looks on course for return to action Terrell Owens didn't practice Wednesday, but he did give up the boot. The Cowboys' leading receiver has been wearing a boot since suffering a high ankle sprain against the Carolina Panthers Dec. 22. Cowboys celebrate the 40th anniversary of the Ice Bowl with a ready-to-go-on-vacation effort that led to a 27-6 loss to Redskins Game recap from Sunday, Dec. 30, 2007 Phillips predicts Dallas will beat their first-round opponent in the playoffs Forty years ago this New Year's Eve day, Green Bay defeated Dallas, 21-17 at Lambeau Field, in the coldest NFL game on record. The Cowboys came to Green Bay as upstarts, seeking their first NFL title and had the momentum of a 52-14 win over Cleveland in the Eastern Conference Championship Game the week before. Dallas also had gained experience from their narrow 34-27 loss to Green Bay in the 1966 NFL Championship.  Heckler Comic: 'Jessica Jinx' is spreadingFriday, December 28, 2007 Simpson's curse is wearing off on people other than Tony Romo Simpson's curse is wearing off on people other than Tony Romo North Texas religious groups rally for Romo, Simpson Monday, December 17, 2007 Christian groups throughout north Texas are engaged in recruiting members to pray for Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson, so that the annual Cowboys collapse in December can be avoided.  Wade Phillips: 'We needed to lose a game'Monday, Dec. 17, 2007 Romo needed to cool off in front of new girlfriend Jessica Simpson Cowboys coach Wade Phillips was trying to put a good spin on the Cowboys' 10-6 loss to the Eagles Sunday, saying the loss helped bring his budding superstar QB back down to earth. With playoffs clinched, Cowboys enter 'who cares' stretch of 2007 season Tuesday, Dec. 11, 2007 Even Tank Johnson to see a lot of playing time as Dallas plays out the regular season Cowboys fans can expect head coach Wade Phillips to start anyone over the last three games who hasn't been getting a lot of playing time, including defensive tackle Tank Johnson. Radio Brief: T.O. apologizes for lack of controversy this season Monday, Dec. 3, 2007 Terrell Owens apologized to reporters for his lack of newsworthy antics this season.  Cowboys top Packers, but even great performances can't save terrible broadcastFriday, Nov. 30, 2007 Cable companies glad they didn't televise 'train wreck' with Gumble, Collinsworth, Prime Time and Mariucci Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens thanked God during an interview on NFL Network following the his team’s 37-27 win over the Packers Thursday night in one of the most exciting games of the year. Even T.O.'s 156-yard, one TD performance wasn't enough to overcome possibly the worst telecast in NFL history since NBC's silent broadcast between the New York Jets and the Miami Dolphins Dec. 20, 1980. John Madden spotted at Green Bay-Dallas game Friday, Nov. 30, 2007 Famed NBC color commentator John Madden was prevented from entering Texas Stadium prior to Thursday's Green Bay Packers-Dallas Cowboys game due to the game's previous broadcast commitment with the NFL Network. Heckler comic: Jerry Jones has a question for Cowboys fans Tuesday, Nov. 27, 2007 The price tag might be hefty for Cowboys tickets at the new stadium, but Jerry Jones has just one question for fans.  Romo takes heat for Clarkson's bad Thanksgiving performanceFriday, Nov. 23, 2007 Cowboys QB rattled 'American Idol' star by hitting on her prior to taking stage Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo wasn't finished throwing passes Thursday just because it was halftime of the Cowboys' Thanksgiving Day 34-3 thrashing over the New York Jets. He just switched receivers. Cowboys announce new season ticket prices; Only Jerry Jones, oil company execs can afford tickets Tuesday, Nov. 20, 2007 Dallas Cowboys season ticket holders will have to take advantage of Texas' new rules regarding second mortgages if they want to keep their seat in the Cowboys new stadium in Arlington when it opens in 2009. Prices were announced today and not surpisingly they're not cheap. NFL Weakness Ratings for Week 11: Bears move up thanks to Rex Thursday, Nov. 15, 2007 Week 10 is now ancient history and there have been fewer and movers and shakers than there were before. Teams are finally starting to settle into the rankings they will most likely finish the season with. New Cowboys stadium to be named after Jerry Jones Monday, Nov. 12, 2007 Owner forgoes $100 million-plus deal to honor 'Greatest Texas businessman in history' Rather than net more than $100 million by adding the name of a Texas-based company like Dell, Capital One or Exxon-Mobil, to his team's new stadium, Cowboys owner Jones decided to name the stadium after the man he calls the "Greatest Texas businessman in history"--himself. NFL Weakness Ratings for Week 10: Bears move up by not playing Wednesday, Nov. 7, 2007 Every team in the league is now at the midway point and there is a huge separation between the great (Pats, Colts, Steelers, Cowboys) and the mediocre (underachievers and generally average). Madden drinking game suspended during first half because of overuse of clichés Tuesday, Nov. 5, 2007 Yesterday's Sunday Night Football drinking game was temporarily suspended during the Dallas Cowboys-Philadelphia Eagles game because of color commentator John Madden's frequent proclamations of love for Cowboys QB Tony Romo. Tank Johnson promises not to shoot things, drive drunk while on Cowboys Thursday, Nov. 1, 2007 As Tank Johnson attempts to jumpstart his career with the Cowboys, he's made a commitment to himself, his teammates and Jerry Jones that he will stay out of trouble. Cowboys get commissioner's OK to sign two troublemakers Monday, July 21, 2008 During an impromptu press conference, Dallas Cowboys head coach Wade Phillips said the Cowboys have been given the go ahead by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to sign two offensive football players facing, or who have faced, felony charges in order to even out their roster. |
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