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Missed The Heckler Half Hour Comedy Spectacular a couple weeks ago? Check it out here
Friday, July 30, 2010
Guaranteed to be the best half hour of the next 60 minutes of your life
In case you missed The Heckler's cable access show a couple weeks back because you had something better to do at 10 on a Sunday night, here it is for you to watch at your leisure.
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Andruw Jones wakes up with severed horse head in bed after nearly hitting Daley with bat
Thursday, July 28, 2010
Ozzie plans to retaliate
Mayor Daley received a major scare after Andruw Jones lost control of his bat during the fourth inning of Wednesday night's White Sox-Mariners game, nearly hitting Daley who was sitting in the second row. The mayor smiled after the incident, but Thursday morning Jones woke up to find a severed horse head in bed next to him.
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Radio Brief: Sox admit they turned around season just to piss off Cubs fans
Thursday, Jul. 22, 2010
Paul Konerko says the team's incredible turnaround was inspired by their enjoyment of messing with Cubs fans.
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Sox fan gets U.S. Cellular Field scoreboard-influenced spinner rims on Camaro
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sox fan Delvin Tucker got the birthday gift of a lifetime when his wife Destiny surprised him with new spinners for his Camaro. The spinners, which resemble the multi-colored pinwheels on the U.S. Cellular Field scoreboard, were paid for by a combination of food stamps, a broken down Go-Kart, and a rusting yield sign.
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July '10 issue is out: Big Z returns, Cubs get Hall of Fame, Hawks make another big trade
Monday, July 12, 2010
Another month of unbelievable sports news
With so much going on in Chicago's topsy-turvy sports world, The Heckler's July issue is here to help you make sense of it all.
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Angels' Rally Monkey drugged even more than usual to prepare for All-Star festivities
Monday, July 12, 2010
Tuesday's 2010 All-Star Game in Anaheim will feature Angels mascot "The Rally Monkey" frequently during the festivities throughout the weekend.
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Radio Brief: Cubs fan considers unprecedented switch to the Sox after Zambrano blowup
Monday, Jun. 28, 2010
Zambrano's latest antics cause one North Side fan to contemplate what used to be unthinkable.
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White Sox award BP Cup to Carlos Zambrano
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
In a surprise move, the White Sox, winners of the first-ever BP Crosstown Cup, have voted to award the trophy to suspended Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano.
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Winner of Crosstown Cup to be awarded 5th place in AL West
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Adding yet another chapter to their exciting crosstown series legacy, the winner of the Crosstown Cup between the Cubs and White Sox will be awarded fifth place in the American League West.
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Blackhawks take break from touring libraries and soup kitchens to bring Stanley Cup to Wrigley
Monday, June 14, 2010
Partying fans finally get chance to see players and their Cup
The Blackhawks postponed their Stanley Cup weekend tour of community organizations to stop at Wrigley Field for Sunday night's Cubs-Sox game. Fans were thrilled to finally have a chance to finally party with the players and their trophy.
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Cubs get Toyota sign up just in time for White Sox series
Thursday, June 10, 2010
'That was a close one!' says Kenney
The Cubs will have a new addition Friday when they take on the White Sox, but it won't be a much-needed clutch hitter or bullpen ace. Instead, thanks to a feverish installation Thursday, the back wall of Wrigley Field's left field bleachers now features the infamous Toyota sign that's been debated for months.
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June '10 Issue is out: Hawks are champs; Crosstown winner to be awarded 5th in AL West
Friday, June 11, 2010
All the unbelievable Chicago sports news you can handle
With so much going on in Chicago's topsy-turvy sports world, The Heckler's June issue is here to help you make sense of it all.

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Thousands gather in Wrigleyville to celebrate Cubs' 9-4 win over Milwaukee Wednesday night
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Fans chant 'Philly sucks!' while proclaiming Chicago champs
The intersection of Clark and Addison was filled with fans celebrating the Cubs huge 9-4 win in Milwaukee Wednesday night, which moved the North Siders to just five games under .500 and 6.5 games behind the first-place Cincinnati Reds in the NL Central.
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Cubs ask if they can borrow Stanley Cup to use for Crosstown Cup as well
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Kenney: 'It would be nice to win the Stanley Cup'
Following the Blackhawks' Stanley Cup championship win Wednesday night, the Cubs have asked the Hawks if they can borrow the Stanley Cup for use in lieu of the maligned and pointless BP Crosstown Cup when they battle the White Sox at Wrigley this weekend.
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Stonemasons decide Cubs won't win Series until 2087
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Custodian finds secret society's shocking notes
The predetermined season outcomes of the next 90 years of pro baseball were made public after a custodian found notes from an Ancient Society of the Stonemasons meeting in the basement of Goldman Sachs' corporate headquarters.

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Ruined perfect game marks worst thing to happen to Detroit in minutes
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Blown call was 'tragedy the likes of which our city had only seen several hundred times Wednesday'
Fans from across the country are calling for umpire Jim Joyce to be fired after his blown call ruined Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga's perfect game with two outs in the ninth Wednesday night, marking the worst thing to happen to Detroit in minutes.

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Doug Glanville to appear on The Interview Show Friday night at the Hideout
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Former Cub headlines super-cool live show at 6:30
Host of the super-cool "The Interview Show" and friend of The Heckler Mark Bazer will be joined by former Cub and author Doug Glanville and several other guests this Friday night at the Hideout.

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Video Report: First-ever UFC promotion at U.S. Cellular Field deemed successful
Monday, May 24, 2010
Fans beat each other up while fans cheer and security stays away
Late last week, the White Sox held their first-ever joint promotion with the Ultimate Fighting Championship and allowed fans to duke it out in the stands while an angry mob of fans cheered, threw beers and even joined in.
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Sox wore new Sunday Zubaz uniforms yesterday
Monday, May 24, 2010
Konerko: 'It's like playing in very unsexy pajamas'
The White Sox jazzed up their Sunday home uniforms yesterday. Instead of alternate colors or throwback jerseys, players wore full Zubaz gear in their 13-0 loss to Florida. The new uniforms feature elastic bands, unsupportive crotches and outrageous stripes no woman has ever found attractive.
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Hawk Harrelson finally runs out of excuses for awful Sox
Friday, May 21, 2010
Blames sun, United Nations before finally just shutting up
Longtime White Sox play-by-play man Ken "Hawk" Harrelson, known as one of the biggest homers in all of sports, finally ran out of excuses for the terrible play of his team.
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Radio Brief: Cubs, Sox pin playoff hopes on petition to combine their win totals
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
The two Chicago baseball teams realize their only shot at making it to the postseason this year is if they're allowed to pool their wins together.
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May '10 issue is out: Ricketts has first true 'Cubs fan' experience; Cubs use Groupon to unload Zambrano contract; and more
Monday, May 10, 2010
Crosstown Cup finally gives Cubs an opportunity to win a trophy; Kasper loses his cool on-air
The Heckler's May issue has hit the streets and like every issue, this one's packed with unbelievable sports news.
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Check out The Heckler on Chicago Public Radio's vocalo.org Wednesday at noon
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Even people who aren't 'experts' can participate
Live chat about Chicago sports to be archived forever and forever after it ends at 1.

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Radio Brief: Now on ESPN, Schilling still doesn't realize everyone thinks he's a jag-off
Tuesday, Apr. 20, 2010
The newest baseball analyst on ESPN is under the false impression that people actually will value his opinions.
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Radio Brief: Chicagoland women wishing they had taken advantage of their husband's attention before losing it to baseball
Thursday, Apr. 15, 2010
Husbands once again checking out emotionally for the next six months.
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April '10 issue is out: Unknown relievers get nametags, Soto donates weight to Cubs Care and much more
Monday, April 12, 2010
Check out pics from Next Year Day
The Heckler's April issue has hit the streets just in time for the Cubs home opener.
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102nd Annual Next Year Day: Party with The Heckler, Rick Telander and many more at Harry Caray's Sat, April 10
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
This one promises to be the best one yet
Join The Heckler and Rick Telander this Saturday, April 10, at Harry Caray's Tavern Wrigleyville for the 102nd Annual Next Year Day to celebrate the joy, frustration and eternal optimism that is ... Next Year! This one promises to be the best ever (yes, even better than 1946, 1970, 1985, 1990, 1999, 2004 and 2008 combined).
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Sox offer 20% ticket discount to any fan carrying valid credit card
Sunday, March 28, 2010
The only catch: It must have their name on it
When the Cubs teamed up with MasterCard this winter to gouge fans on tickets, the White Sox eventually decided to follow suit.

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Comcast SportsNet launches new show: Chicago Sports Team PR Hour
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Network will will finally give local clubs a voice on the network they partially own
Comcast SportsNet will debut its newest show, Chicago Sports Team PR Hour, next week. According to program director Ed Malone, the new offering will serve as an alternate viewpoint on the state of sports in the city.
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Overexcited Harrelson predicts Sox will win 267 games, World Series
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
'We can't let a little thing like the number of games get in our way. Mercy!'
Like all fans, White Sox Nation's optimism runs high at the start of every baseball season, and there's no bigger Sox backer than announcer Ken "Hawk" Harrelson. The only difference between Hawk and other Sox fans is that his optimism borders on delusion.
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Piniella goes AWOL in the Southwest
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Cubs manager not in Vegas or Arizona
Cubs officials and law enforcement authorities are both concerned as Lou Piniella has gone AWOL somewhere between Arizona and Las Vegas, where the team is currently playing a pair of split squad games.
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March 10 issue is out: Cubs beer bong; Bloggers brawl; and much more
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Among the headlines: Sox consider English broadcasts; Comcast launches new show
The Heckler's March issue has hit the streets just in time for Spring Training's sweet spot.
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Selig forces all teams to hire a Steroid Era hitting coach
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Sosa, Bonds and Palmeiro follow McGwire's lead
As the black cloud of the Steroid Era fades, Commissioner Bud Selig has sought to correct his indiscretions and blatant incompetence by forcing the fallen heroes from that era to earn redemption by taking hitting coach jobs.
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2010's first Cubby Occurence: Marlon Byrd eaten by huge Gila monster in Mesa
Monday, March 1, 2010
Huge lizard passes over Woo-Woo and Soto
"Cubby Occurrences" come with the territory for members of the Cubs. Still, nobody could have predicted the first one of 2010 when Marlon Byrd being eaten by a large Gila monster.
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Ozzie aims to connect with fans in 140 characters or less of broken English
Thursday, Feb. 25, 2010
Piniella maintains his distance
Any time White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen does anything it seems to be newsworthy in Chicago and throughout the sports world. So it should surprise no one that when he created a Twitter account earlier this week media from around the country made a huge deal about it.
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Tiger Woods announces switch to baseball
Friday, Feb. 19, 2010
Marital infidelity, sex addiction goes unmentioned at morning announcement
Tiger Woods shocked the sports world today by announcing that he has retired from the PGA and will attempt a new career in professional baseball.

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Feb. 10 Issue is out: First '10 Cubby Occurrence as Marlon Byrd eaten by huge Mesa Gila monster
Friday, Feb. 12, 2010
Among the headlines: Ricketts to compete for Gold in men's Winter Olympic figure skating; Steroid use up 50% among idiot Cardinals fans; and much, much more
The Heckler's February issue has hit the streets to help ease your winter blues. We think it's our best ever, but we also thought signing Milton Bradley was a good move by Jim Hendry. Sometimes we're wrong.
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Six-year-old TV network to host its 22nd annual sports awards Thursday
Wednesday, Feb. 10, 2010
Comcast continues history of not making sense
Comcast SportsNet was founded in 2004, yet is hosting its 22nd Annual Comcast SportsNet Sports Awards dinner Thursday night at the Hilton Chicago. Some think it makes no sense that a six-year-old TV network could be hosting its 22nd annual award show, but Comcast SportsNet Chicago President Jim Corno doesn't care.
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Best SoxFest panel: 'Winning with 4 Mediocre OFs'
Sunday, Jan. 24, 2010
Williams joined by other experts in the field
White Sox GM Kenny Williams lead the most popular SoxFest panel discussion this weekend, called "Winning with 4 Mediocre Outfielders."
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Jan. 10 Issue is out: Cubs Convention time!
Friday, Jan. 15, 2010
Among the headlines: Cubs add ice rink to Hilton; Kitty O'Sheas unveils $24 'Convention fries'; and much more
Great news: The Heckler's January issue has hit the streets just in time for the Cubs Convention. Once again, The Heckler will have a booth at the Hilton (No. 58 in the NW Hall.) We'll also be Tweeting like crazy, because that's what everyone else is doing.
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McGwire wishes he never played in Steroid Era, totally would have dominated Deadball Era
Tuesday, Jan. 12, 2010
'I'd have led the league in homers for like 20 straight years'
Maligned slugger Mark McGwire finally admitted to long-standing abuse of performance enhancing drugs Monday, saying he wish he never played during the Steroid Era.

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Selig announces 'Cash for Cheaters' rebate plan
Tuesday, Jan. 12, 2010
Anyone who attended a game during '98 HR race gets full refund
In the wake of Mark McGwire's revelation he used steroids for more than a decade, baseball commissioner Bud Selig announced a refund program for fans swept up in the late-'90s home run craze in which McGwire was a central figure.

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McGwire admits to decade of steroid use; proves winners never cheat
Monday, Jan. 11, 2010
'Telling my drop-dead gorgeous wife and kids in our mansion was the toughest' says disgraced slugger
Mark McGwire officially ended the long-standing speculation about his use of performance enhancing drugs today when he confirmed he did in fact use steroids for a decade during his playing career, highlighted by the historic 1998 home run race with Sammy Sosa that captivated the nation.
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Baseball Preview: White Sox picked to have best defensive team of late '90s
Monday, Jan. 11, 2010
Vizquel, Jones to shore up defense a dozen years ago
Kenny Williams has always been known to make due with strict financial restrictions during the off-season. To shore up the shaky Sox defense this winter, Williams signed Omar Vizquel and Andruw Jones, multi-Gold Glove winners who are well past their prime.
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Ken Harrelson celebrates HOF election; too stupid to realize he's wrong 'Hawk'
Wednesday, Jan. 6, 2010
'Mercy!' says Sox announcer before being told it was Dawson
White Sox TV broadcaster and former player and GM Ken Harrelson today celebrated the election of "Hawk" to the Hall of Fame, failing to realize the Hawk being referenced was not him, but rather Andre Dawson.
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Dec. 09 issue is out: NFL Today adds 10th host; Bears demoted to CFL; Hawks sign entire team for life
Tuesday, Dec. 22, 2009
Chicago sports news you won't find anywhere else
Great news: The Heckler's December issue has hit the streets. In addition to our award-winning unbelievable Chicago sports coverage, this month The Heckler names its first-ever Sportsman of the Year. Here's a hint: His nickname should be "Pick Six."
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Nov. 09 issue is out: Cubs sign Kenny Powers; Bears lineman struggle, and much more
Monday, Nov. 16, 2009
Chicago sports news you won't find anywhere else
Great news: The Heckler's November issue has hit the streets. As usual, it's packed full of unbelievable sports news.
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Reinsdorf doesn't understand how Ricketts can love the team he now owns
Wednesday, Nov. 4, 2009
Bulls, Sox owner claims to hate his teams and their fans
Cubs owner Tom Ricketts is a longtime fan of his new ballclub, a fact that doesn't sit well with crosstown front office man Jerry Reinsdorf.
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Radio Brief: Reinsdorf doesn't understand how Ricketts can love the team he owns
Tuesday, Nov. 3, 2009
The White Sox owner feels animosity towards team and its fans is the right way to go.
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Woo-Woo in History: Halloween 2008
Friday, Oct. 30, 2009
Count Woo-Woo wasn't exactly spooktacular
Even when dressed up for Halloween, Ronnie Woo-Woo Wickers can't shake his Cubs' superfan persona. Here he is as Count Woo-Woo at Harry Caray's Halloween bash last year.
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Local teen reclaims stolen possessions from 'Monsters in the Morning' set
Tuesday, Oct. 27, 2009
North claims to have bought everything off eBay for less than $100
Jimmy Kain of Lombard was relieved to learn that the contents of his bedroom--stolen two weeks ago in a home burglary--had been located safe and sound on the set of Comcast SportsNet's "Monsters in the Morning" TV show hosted by Mike North.
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Fox hires Ozzie as World Series commentator
Thursday, Oct. 22, 2009
FCC prepares for big payday
Fox announced Wednesday it hired foul-mouthed White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen as a pre- and post-game World Series analyst. Surprisingly, the FCC is thrilled by the news.
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South Sider welches on promise to cut mullet if Sox miss playoffs
Thursday, Oct. 22, 2009
Can't give up his 'pride and joy'
Joe Malonecki, an out-of-work South Sider, has gone back on his promise to shear off his beloved mullet if the Sox failed to make the postseason. His friends were perplexed by his unwillingness to part with the hairstyle nearly a month after his team was eliminated from postseason contention.
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ESPN demotes Steve Phillips to minors
Thursday, Oct. 22, 2009
'Steve has completely lost his eye for talent'
Phillips, who previously was general manager for the Mets, admitted having an affair with 22-year-old Brooke Hundley, a woman described by the New York Post as "the tubby temptress."
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Oct 09 issue is out: New Soldier Field Carpet; Gregg's tasty new gig; Impact of Urlacher's injury on the population; and much more
Friday, Oct. 16, 2009
Chicago sports news you won't find anywhere else
Great news: The Heckler's October issue has hit the streets. As usual, it's packed full of unbelievable sports news.
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Selig removes playoff berth for AL Central champ
Wednesday, Sept. 30, 2009
'None of these teams deserve it'
As the mediocre Twins and Tigers duke it out for a divisional championship and the White Sox a distant memory, MLB commissioner Bud Selig announced at a recent press conference that none of the three contenders in the AL Central will make it into the playoffs.
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Watch Now: The Heckler's Sept. 2009 Unbelievable Video Update
Friday, Sept. 18, 2009
Everything you'd have read in the Sept. issue if you weren't so damn lazy
A look in video at the latest happenings in sports, including news on Jim Hendry and Carlos Zambrano, John Madden's retirement plans being ruined by Brett Favre, and the Bears being a little too eager to honor Jay Cutler.
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Radio Brief: WGN cuts rest of baseball season from schedule in favor of more compelling live feed from Cutler Cam
Tuesday, Sep. 15, 2009
Acknowledging fans' disinterest in watching more bad baseball, Chicago's two main MLB broadcasters are changing around their program schedules.
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Sept 09 issue is out: Hendry's job hunt, Big Z's really big gig, Favre's un-retirement and much more
Friday, Sept. 11, 2009
Chicago sports news you won't find anywhere else
Great news: The Heckler's September issue has hit the streets. As usual, it's packed full of unbelievable sports news.
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Radio Brief: After Sox final game there, drunken Hawk tries to demolish Metrodome with sledgehammer
Thursday, Sep. 3, 2009
White Sox announcer follows night of drinking with arrest for saying goodbye to the Twins stadium in his own way.
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Drunken Hawk tries to demolish Metrodome with sledgehammer after Sox final game there
Thursday, Sept. 3, 2009
'Where the hell is Ozzie, dagumit?' asks Harrelson
White Sox TV announcer Hawk Harrelson was arrested by Minneapolis police a few hours after Wednesday's Sox-Twins game when he was caught smashing an outer wall of the Metrodome with a sledgehammer. Harrelson had spent several hours drinking and celebrating both the Sox ninth-inning comeback win over Minnesota and the fact that it was his team's last-ever game at the Metrodome, before the Twins open a new stadium next season.
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Screamin' Johnny Blaze gets his voice back just in time to yell about how bad the Cubs and Sox suck
Thursday, Aug. 27, 2009
Screamin' Johnny Blaze voices his displeasure, loudly, for the way this baseball season is going.
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Woo-Woo in History: The 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago
Tuesday, Aug. 25, 2009
'Hell no WOO! We won't go WOO!'
The eyes of the world were on Chicago during 1968's Democratic National Convention, held 41 years ago Wednesday. Protests turned ugly and, sure enough, Ronnie Woo-Woo Wickers was in the thick of it, anxious to pose for yet another timeless photo.
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Aug 09 issue: Soto stuck in MRI machine; Fan with iPhone misses game; Cutler shows up in beer helmet; and much more
Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009
Cubs, Sox and Bears news you won't find anywhere else
Great news: The Heckler's August issue has hit the streets. As usual, it's packed full of unbelievable sports news.
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Radio Brief: Knowing they'd never hear the end of it, baseball world is ecstatic Pierzynski did not catch perfect game
Monday, Jul. 27, 2009
Boasting of the Sox catcher would have been unbearable if he had been behind the plate for Buehrle's perfect game.
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Wise justifies his existence in Buehrle's perfect game until Williams cuts him tomorrow
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Struggling CF's amazing catch buys him one more day on the Sox
White Sox GM Kenny Williams' plan to cut Dewayne Wise was delayed one day after the struggling outfielder made an amazing HR-saving ninth-inning catch that preserved Mark Buehrle's perfect game Thursday afternoon.
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Parque picks perfect day for HGH admission
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Pitcher publishes confession hours before Buehrle gem
Former Sox pitcher Jim Parque admitted using HGH in a 3,000-word opus published by the Sun-Times Thursday. Sox starter Mark Buehrle then went on to throw a perfect game Thursday afternoon, guaranteeing Parque's confession will forever be forgotten.

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Radio Brief: Price tag on Halladay forces Sox to pursue cheaper, crappier starter
Tuesday, Jul. 21, 2009
Ken Williams will settle on trying to add Adam Eaton to his pitching staff.
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Radio Brief: All Star Game ratings beaten by just about everything
Wednesday, Jul. 15, 2009
Showcase for baseball's stars is again beaten by America's Funniest Home Videos among others.
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Obama only Chicagoan invited to All-Star Game
Monday, July 13, 2009
Nobody else in city is worth sending
The first half of this season has been so bad for both the Cubs and White Sox that MLB has rescinded its policy that every team be represented in the All-Star Game. Instead, President Barack Obama will be Chicago's lone representative at the Midsummer Classic in St. Louis when he throws out the ceremonial first pitch.
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July 09 issue is out: Busch Stadium gets indoor plumbing; Ozzie adopts Wrigley rat; and much more
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Plenty of Cardinals, All-Star Game and Cubs news this month
Great news: The Heckler's July issue has hit the streets. As usual, it's packed full of unbelievable sports news.
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Don't miss National 40oz Week at The Fifty/50 now until July 5
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Great times and discounts on America's Most Patriotic Beverage
The good folks at The Fifty/50 (2047 W. Division) are holding National 40oz Week now until July 5, co-sponsored by The Heckler. Take part in great events like Trivia Night, Old School Hip Hop Night, baseball promos and Hangover Day while enjoying discounts on the best 40oz goodness around.
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The Heckler celebrates 1,000 Facebook friends
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
For some reason, we signed up for an account and now people like it
A while back, we at The Heckler started a Facebook account and Monday it gained its 1,000th fan. To celebrate this momentous occasion, we're offering current Facebook fans a deal they can't refuse: a chance to save 1,000 pennies on your next order from TheHeckler.com. That's $10 for all you non-math majors out there.

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Leyland turns into cigarette
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Lifetime of smoking finally catches up with Tigers' skipper
Tigers manager Jim Leyland was ejected by the home plate umpire during a loss to Boston earlier this month, though it wasn't for arguing balls and strikes, as originally suspected.
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Ozzie battles huge rats beneath Wrigley
Friday, June 19, 2009
Uses weapon found in Pierzynski's locker
During the first two games of the crosstown rivalry this season, the Sox and Cubs battled two hard-fought games. But beneath the Friendly Confines another battle was taking place.

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News Shocker: Sosa reportedly took steroids in 2003
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Zero percent of baseball fans surprised by NY Times confirmation
On the eve of the Cubs-Sox series at Wrigley, the New York Times reported that former North and South side slugger Sammy Sosa was one of the 104 major league players to test positive for steroids in 2003. Zero percent of anyone across the nation were surprised by the news.
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Winner of Cubs-Sox series will move up to 16th place in Phil Rogers' power rankings
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
'That's our spot, no question'
When the Sox head up to the Friendly Confines in mid-June, there will be more at stake than mere baseball bragging rights in Chicago. The winner of the series will also take 16th place in Tribune columnist Phil Rogers' MLB power rankings.
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Ozzie conducts insult seminar to prepare team for Wrigley series
Monday, June 15, 2009
Sox players learn finer points of trashing stadium
White Sox skipper Ozzie Guillen always looks forward to facing the Cubs this time of year. The crosstown matchups not only re-fuel his bitter rivalry, but give him incentive to berate his North Side adversaries.
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On Deck Radio Report: At Wrigleyville restaurants during Crosstown Classic, Sox fans will encounter something new - napkins - and other predictions
Monday, Jun. 15, 2009
This week's predictions: Sox fans will be amazed by the new things they find at North Side eateries, the Cubs and Sox respective hotheads will cause a postponement, Jay Cutler will show he's a true leader of men on bar crawls, and Geovany Soto will sustain an injury.
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June 09 issue is out: Bradley's mouth zippered shut; Ozzie holds insult seminar to prep for Wrigley; and much more
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Also follow The Heckler on Twitter and Facebook
Great news: The Heckler's June issue has hit the streets. As usual, it's packed full of unbelievable Chicago sports news. Also this month, The Heckler is co-sponsoring a pair of great events this month: unbeatable rooftop deals for Cubs-Twins and Cubs-Indians and National 40 oz. Week at The Fifty/50. Spread the word!
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David Beckham's dorky brother called up by White Sox
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Infielder dating Sporty Spice's ugly sister, does ads for Wrangler Jeans
A highly-touted prospect and collegiate star, Gordon Beckham may best be known as the younger, considerably less hip, brother of metrosexual David Beckham.

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On Deck Radio Report: Wind from Josh Fields' swings and misses will power entire city and other predictions
Monday, Jun 1, 2009
This week's predictions: the Sox third baseman will show he should work for the power company, Len Kasper's notorious temper will keep him from covering a Cubs series, and Ron Turner will improve on his mastery of the short pass.
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Whatever happened to you Thursday, it wasn't as bad of a day as the White Sox had
Game recap from May 21, 2009
Sox lose Peavy and by 19 runs during really, really bad day
The Sox started yesterday thinking they were going to sign Jake Peavy. Eight hours later Peavy had publicly shunned them and the Twins had beat them 20-1 at home.
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Peavy unwilling to give up 7-bedroom ocean side property for trailer in Bridgeview
Friday, May 22, 2009
Article from a reader of The Heckler
Padres ace Jake Peavy got the phone call he was expecting all winter Thursday morning when San Diego GM Kevin Towers informed Peavy that he had finally been traded to Chicago.

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After four-game sweep, Sox fans want to talk hockey
Series recap for Monday, May 18, 2009
Blackhawks provide nice distraction from terrible team
Like most Sox fans, I would much rather discuss the Blackhawks than the sinking ship that is the White Sox.

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Cleveland doesn't suck for first time this year, wins series over Sox
Series recap from May 11-13, 2008
D.J. Carrasco picks up lone win in series
It has been said the AL Central is a division where every team has an equal chance of winning it all of landing in last place. Through the first 30 games of the season, it appeared the Indians were the favorites to end in the cellar. That's before they played the Sox.
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Sox score all of 4 runs in weekend series
Series recap from May 8-10, 2008
Sluggers look sluggish at home against Ranger pitching
I know the regular season goes until the end of September, but if the Sox offense can only put up four runs (with one coming on a wild pitch) while losing two of three games at home against the Rangers, Sox fans may have some cause for concern.
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Contreras recalls rooming with Ty Cobb
Sunday, May 10, 2009
'To know Tyrus was to love him' elderly Sox pitcher says of legend who retired in 1928
When he's not giving up multiple runs in first few innings of a game like he did this weekend, Sox starting pitcher Jose Contreras, who turns 100 this year, is working on an autobiography that dozens of baseball fans are looking forward to reading.
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Near-perfect Buehrle whups Tigers
Game recap from Thursday, May 7, 2009
Lefty who usually gives up 20 hits allows only one
Mark Buehrle had a perfect game through six and allowed only one hit through eight innings as the Sox stopped a four-game losing streak and made Detroit look stupid in a 6-0 win.
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May 09 issue is out: Lou gets moving walkway to speed up mound trips; Contreras recalls days with Ty Cobb; ESPN: Cornhole launches
Friday, May 8, 2009
Also introducing The Heckler Fan Pass
Great news: The Heckler's May issue has hit the streets. As usual, it's packed full of unbelievable Chicago sports news.
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MLB quarantines White Sox fans due to Swine Flu concerns
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Illness linked to tattoos, mullets and bad fashion
As worldwide concern mounts over swine flu, Major League Baseball has initiated its own campaign to curb the spread of the virus, starting with an immediate quarantine of White Sox fans.

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Sox lose to a bunch of Canadians
Series recap from April 24-26, 2009
Toronto sluggers take two of three at Cell
With the beautiful weather Friday night I decided to make my every-other-year trip to see a Sox game live. I quickly realized two truths.
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A bunch of empty seats watch Sox beat the Orioles
Game recap from Wednesday, April 22, 2009
10K show up to Camden Yards
I know the weather was bad, the economy is in the crapper and the Orioles haven't been good for a long time, but I expected more from a "true" baseball city like Baltimore. The paid attendance at Orioles Park at Camden Yards for Wednesday night's 8-2 Sox victory was under 10,868, just 361 more than the all-time low for the 17-year-old park. Where's Cal Ripken when you need him?
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On Deck Radio Report: Despite being nonsensical, Hawk Harrelson's latest catch phrase will get him in trouble and other predictions
Monday, Apr. 20, 2009
This week's predictions: the Cubs will pay more attention to a non-baseball sport, the Sox announcer will go from folksy to offensive, and Lovie will get in trouble for using an old catch phrase.
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It doesn't look like Tampa will be 'this year's Rays'
Series recap from April 16-19, 2009
Sox take 3 of 4 from last year's unexpected pennant winners
After the Tampa Bay Rays shocked MLB by representing the A.L. in the World Series last October fans naturally asked "Who will be this year's Rays?" After the Sox drubbed the Rays for three wins on the turf at Tropicana Field, it doesn't appear it will be Tampa.

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Sox beat Rays in front of a dozen or so people
Game recap from Thursday, April 16
Rematch of ALDS brings out rare double-digit crowd
The announced attendance at Tropicana Field for Thursday’s 3-2 Sox win was 13,803, but most of them must have been in the bathroom all game because I counted about 15 fans in the seats. Maybe they just didn't want to be near Dick Vitale, the lone famous Rays fan.
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Sox get beat up in Detroit, team also loses game
Game recap from Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Tigers No. 42s blank Chicago's No. 42s
While boarding the bus for Comerica Park, White Sox players were introduced to the Detroit tradition of getting mugged in front of your hotel. To add insult to injury, the team then went on to lose 9-0.
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Sox open community for active seniors on team
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Dye, Thome, Contreras enjoy freedom, security of assisted living home
With Jermaine Dye, 35, Jim Thome, 38, and Jose Contreras, 87, all getting long in the tooth, White Sox management has chosen to open a community for active seniors near Camelback Ranch in Glendale, Ariz.
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Sox bats heat up in miserable conditions
Game recap from Monday, April 13, 2009
Dye, Konerko both reach milestones
With a forecast in the mid-30s and a biting wind, I'm sure all in attendance at Comerica Park appreciated the Sox taking close to 3.5 hours to beat the Tigers 10-6.

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