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 Feb. 10 Issue is out: First '10 Cubby Occurrence as Marlon Byrd eaten by huge Mesa Gila monsterFriday, Feb. 12, 2010 Among the headlines: Ricketts to compete for Gold in men's Winter Olympic figure skating; Steroid use up 50% among idiot Cardinals fans; and much, much more The Heckler's February issue has hit the streets to help ease your winter blues. We think it's our best ever, but we also thought signing Milton Bradley was a good move by Jim Hendry. Sometimes we're wrong. Read More  Six-year-old TV network to host its 22nd annual sports awards ThursdayWednesday, Feb. 10, 2010 Comcast continues history of not making sense Comcast SportsNet was founded in 2004, yet is hosting its 22nd Annual Comcast SportsNet Sports Awards dinner Thursday night at the Hilton Chicago. Some think it makes no sense that a six-year-old TV network could be hosting its 22nd annual award show, but Comcast SportsNet Chicago President Jim Corno doesn't care. Read More Radio Brief: Martz's pass happy offense already getting Cutler sacked Tuesday, Feb. 9, 2010 Still seven months before the 2010 NFL season begins, but the sacks are already starting. Read More  Heckler Comic: Brees will keep Indy guessingSaturday, Feb. 6, 2010 Manning won't know what to make of it Super Bowl XLIV prediction Read More  Lovie hires random Facebook friend to serve as assistant coachFriday, Feb. 5, 2010 Also adopts six kids so he can give them all jobs Bears head coach Lovie Smith has been known to play favorites, but even his most ardent supporters -- most of whom already work for him -- have scoffed at his latest personnel moves. According to a report released this afternoon, Smith has hired Facebook friend and former high school classmate Bobby Merdell to serve as assistant head coach in charge of the two-point offense. Read More Overzealous NFL legally prevents man from telling friends he's going to watch [REDACTED] Sunday night Friday, Feb. 5, 2010 Hands him huge cease-and-desist letter The NFL is notorious for vigorously protecting each of its many trademarks, none more so than the [REDACTED]. The league goes out of its way to prevent any unsanctioned or unpaid use of the term, but critics feel this year it has gone too far when the league prevented a Chicago man from using the name of the game while discussing his Sunday evening plans with his friends. Read More  Outrage grows over future 4th-round draft pick starring in Super Bowl adMonday, Feb. 1, 2010 'Why does Tebow get an ad and I don't?' asks Clausen Controversy over former Florida Gators QB Tim Tebow's appearance in a high-profile Super Bowl TV ad continues to grow, as Sunday's big game approaches. Critics feel that Tebow -- a projected fourth-round pick in this April's NFL Draft -- is unworthy of the fame brought about by starring in an ad running during the most-watched TV event of the year. Read More Radio Brief: Potential candidates keep bowing out as Lovie's search for a landscaping company continues Wednesday, Feb. 3, 2010 While he may have finally found a coordinator willing to work for him, the Bears coach is still getting turned down by potential lawn care companies for his home. Read More Radio Brief: Forte surgery just one of many for Bears, including Angelo's dumbass-ectomy Tuesday, Jan. 26, 2010 The Bears admit to a rash of procedures undergone by players, coaches and front office staff. Read More  Jan. 10 Issue is out: Cubs Convention time!Friday, Jan. 15, 2010 Among the headlines: Cubs add ice rink to Hilton; Kitty O'Sheas unveils $24 'Convention fries'; and much more Great news: The Heckler's January issue has hit the streets just in time for the Cubs Convention. Once again, The Heckler will have a booth at the Hilton (No. 58 in the NW Hall.) We'll also be Tweeting like crazy, because that's what everyone else is doing. Read More Radio Brief: Bears brass misuse words qualified, results, and many, many others at recent press conference Tuesday, Jan. 12, 2010 Officials from Webster's are needed to clear up mass confusion. Read More  CBS adds 10th host to NFL TodayThursday, Jan. 8, 2010 Move aims to ready network for playoffs In a bold move designed to "stack the opinion deck just in time for the playoffs," CBS has hired a 10th host for the network's venerable NFL Today broadcast. Read More After firing Turner, Bears will look to modernize offense Wednesday, Jan. 6, 2010 Hoping to catch up to 1989; might go to Run and Shoot Now that Ron Turner has been fired, the team is looking to make some major changes in order to be competitive in today's NFL. Consequently, Lovie Smith has explored other offensive schemes, with the Run and Shoot being the current favorite. Read More Bears 'probably won't' re-hire Ron Turner again someday Tuesday, Jan. 5, 2010 Front office surprised bad college coach turned out to be bad offensive coordinator Ron Turner's second stint as Bears offensive coordinator mercifully ended Tuesday, after high hopes for a dynamic offense fell flat in 2009. Bears president Ted Phillips promised fans "'probably won't" ever re-hire Turner in the future like the team did once already. Read More Radio Brief: Bulls considering Lovie to replace equally inept Del Negro Wednesday, Dec. 30, 2009 Looking once again for incompetence in their coaching search, the Bulls might hire Lovie Smith if he becomes available. Read More  The Heckler's 2009 Sportsman of the Year: Jay CutlerMonday, Dec. 28, 2009 'Pick Six' leads the way As 2009 mercifully comes to an end, we reflect back on the highs and mostly lows of the year in Chicago sports. Read More Radio Brief: Lovie to spend Christmas with only sportswriter who thinks he shouldn't be fired Wednesday, Dec. 23, 2009 The Tribune's Dan Pompei claims his invite to the Smith household for the holidays is unrelated to his constant defense of the Bears head coach. Read More Robbie Gould changes name to 'Mistletoe' in time for the holidays Wednesday, Dec. 23, 2009 Bears' top offensive weapon inspired by Ocho Cinco Robbie Gould, the Bears' most consistent offensive player this year, has announced he is making an adjustment that he believes will go over well with fans and teammates alike. Read More Report from North Pole: Bears are 'naughty,' Hawks are 'nice' Wednesday, Dec. 23, 2009 Bears to get coal, Hawks to get shiny new sticks Word at the North Pole is that this Christmas, Santa is leaning toward delivering shiny new hockey sticks for all the Blackhawks players, and stuffing lumps of coal in the Bears' stockings. Read More  Dec. 09 issue is out: NFL Today adds 10th host; Bears demoted to CFL; Hawks sign entire team for lifeTuesday, Dec. 22, 2009 Chicago sports news you won't find anywhere else Great news: The Heckler's December issue has hit the streets. In addition to our award-winning unbelievable Chicago sports coverage, this month The Heckler names its first-ever Sportsman of the Year. Here's a hint: His nickname should be "Pick Six." Read More  Forte's yards per carry dips below college GPATuesday, Dec. 1, 2009 'You try running behind Frank Omiyale or Old Man Orlando' says struggling RB RB Matt Forte isn't doing much to help the Bears' cause this season after accounting for nearly half the team's offense in 2008. For the first time in Forte's young career, his average yards per carry (3.3) have slipped well below his college GPA at Tulane (3.7). Read More  Linguist reveals 'Omiyale' translates to 'Oh, I missed my block'Tuesday, Dec. 1, 2009 Off-season acquisition not exactly panning out A renowned linguist from Oxford University recently studied the origin of Bears tackle Frank Omiyale's name, shedding some light on questions many fans have asked throughout the season. Read More Radio Brief: Madden unretires to call Thanksgiving game, stuff new animals into turkey Tuesday, Nov. 24, 2009 The former broadcaster has improved upon his original Turducken by adding new kinds of meat. Read More  Bears alternative jerseys made from green screen materialFriday, Nov. 20, 2009 TV viewers must choose between advertisements After realizing mid-season they had to invest in a new offensive line, the Bears were forced to get creative in order to raise the necessary funds. This "out-of-the-box" thinking led to green screen jerseys that will now let the team broadcast ads directly onto players during games and comes just in time for Sunday's nationally broadcast game against the Eagles. Read More Radio Brief: Lovie confident Bears can go 6-10, still make playoffs Tuesday, Nov. 17, 2009 The Bears coach continues to believe he has a playoff bound team no matter how bad their season goes. Read More  Nov. 09 issue is out: Cubs sign Kenny Powers; Bears lineman struggle, and much moreMonday, Nov. 16, 2009 Chicago sports news you won't find anywhere else Great news: The Heckler's November issue has hit the streets. As usual, it's packed full of unbelievable sports news. Read More  Hester found at Field Museum after meandering punt returnMonday, Nov. 9, 2009 Also seen on stage at Northerly Island The improved play of wide receiver Devin Hester has helped the Bears offense vertically stretch the field this season, yet the speedster's punt returns continue to take him backwards, sideline-to-sideline and beyond. Read More  Urlacher injury to lead to a 37% population increaseFriday, Nov. 6, 2009 Linebacker now has plenty of time for procreating The U.S. Census Bureau released a report today estimating that Brian Urlacher's season-ending wrist injury will be directly responsible for a 37 percent rise in the population due to the additional time the linebacker can spend impregnating women. Read More  Park District places Walter Payton statue on Soldier Field playing surfaceMonday, Nov. 2, 2009 Bears disappointed by resolution, but hopeful it will become advantage Sunday marked the 10th anniversary of Walter Payton's untimely passing and an apparent end to the ongoing disagreement over a proposed Soldier Field statue of the legendary running back. The Bears aren't particularly happy about it, however, as the six-foot tall bronze figure now stands on the field of play. Read More  Local teen reclaims stolen possessions from 'Monsters in the Morning' setTuesday, Oct. 27, 2009 North claims to have bought everything off eBay for less than $100 Jimmy Kain of Lombard was relieved to learn that the contents of his bedroom--stolen two weeks ago in a home burglary--had been located safe and sound on the set of Comcast SportsNet's "Monsters in the Morning" TV show hosted by Mike North. Read More  Lovie's moment of indigestion mistaken for emotion after ugly loss to BengalsMonday, Oct. 26, 2009 Bears coach blames pre-game breakfast for perceived anger Despite video evidence suggesting he clearly expressed disgust after Chicago's 35-point loss against Cincinnati Sunday, Bears head coach Lovie Smith continues to vehemently deny a public display of emotion ever happened. Read More Radio Brief: Steve Rosenbloom to only use absolutes when writing about the Bears Monday, Oct. 19, 2009 The sportswriter will see things entirely in black and white when it comes to the Bears this season. Read More  Salaam, Enis give Forte adviceTuesday, Oct. 20, 2009 'Smoke more weed' and 'Get really fat' say former Bears Bears RB Matt Forte has had a tough go thus far in his second season, and struggled mightily Sunday night against Atlanta. Former promising Chicago tailbacks Rashaan Salaam and Curtis Enis have begun offering Forte some words of wisdom. Read More  Oct 09 issue is out: New Soldier Field Carpet; Gregg's tasty new gig; Impact of Urlacher's injury on the population; and much moreFriday, Oct. 16, 2009 Chicago sports news you won't find anywhere else Great news: The Heckler's October issue has hit the streets. As usual, it's packed full of unbelievable sports news. Read More  Over-excited Bears bronze Cutler's arm during bye weekThursday, Oct. 8, 2009 QB already using it as conversation piece at downtown clubs Following only a few impressive games, the Bears took an unusual measure toward preserving the arm of their new franchise quarterback. A team official confirmed Jay Cutler's right arm had been plated in copper after the team's win over the Lions last Sunday. Read More  Watch Now: The Heckler's Sept. 2009 Unbelievable Video UpdateFriday, Sept. 18, 2009 Everything you'd have read in the Sept. issue if you weren't so damn lazy A look in video at the latest happenings in sports, including news on Jim Hendry and Carlos Zambrano, John Madden's retirement plans being ruined by Brett Favre, and the Bears being a little too eager to honor Jay Cutler. Read More Radio Brief: WGN cuts rest of baseball season from schedule in favor of more compelling live feed from Cutler Cam Tuesday, Sep. 15, 2009 Acknowledging fans' disinterest in watching more bad baseball, Chicago's two main MLB broadcasters are changing around their program schedules. Read More  Madden upset with Favre for breaking retirement pactMonday, Sept. 14, 2009 'I'm sure John will get over it' says Favre In what has become a yearly tradition, Brett Favre announced he will not be retiring, and will instead return to play in his 19th NFL season. After a disappointing 2008 campaign with the Jets, many NFL analysts expected Favre would retire "for real this time," but the gun-slinging quarterback isn't riding quietly off into the sunset. Read More Favre retires in 1st quarter, cries to Rachel Nichols at halftime, unretires in 4th Monday, Sept. 14, 2009 Brett Favre made his dubious return to the NFL doing what he does best—avoiding training camp and hoarding the media spotlight. But unlike previous seasons, his selfishness and indecisiveness has spilled into the regular season. Read More Season kickoff + Bears/Packers + possible Super Bowl contention brings Screamin' Johnny Blaze's excitement level to dangerous heights Friday, Sep. 11, 2009 The Heckler's sports talk guy just can't wait for Sunday night. Read More  Sept 09 issue is out: Hendry's job hunt, Big Z's really big gig, Favre's un-retirement and much moreFriday, Sept. 11, 2009 Chicago sports news you won't find anywhere else Great news: The Heckler's September issue has hit the streets. As usual, it's packed full of unbelievable sports news. Read More Radio Brief: Fan gets realistic about Bears season, changes total win prediction from 19 to 18 Tuesday, Sep. 8, 2009 A local Bears fan realizes he may have been a bit too enthusiastic when predicting an undefeated through the playoffs season. Read More  Fantasy Report: For first time ever, man not laughed at for drafting Bears QBFriday, Aug. 28, 2009 Then loses credibility by taking Bears WR Die-hard Bears fan Doug Wendlandt of Schaumburg has a storied history of drafting Bears quarterbacks each August in his local fantasy draft. And, for the past 15 seasons, he has been the subject of laughter and ridicule from his fellow participants. But this year's story was a little different. Read More  Cutler wears novelty party helmet to last day of training campFriday, Aug. 21, 2009 Heavy-drinking QB was too hung over to know the difference When it comes to boozing quarterbacks, Bears fans may have thought Kyle Orton was prolific, but Jay Cutler has taken partying to a new level, as evidenced by the novelty beer-drinking helmet he wore to the last training camp practice in Bourbonnais Friday. Read More Join The Heckler Wednesday Aug. 26 for Fantasy Football 101 Thursday, Aug. 20, 2009 'Don't Draft Terrell Owens' and 'Your Pick Sucks' among the topics to be discussed Your friends from The Heckler are co-hosting a fun and innovative look at the 2009 Fantasy Football season. Topics include: "Don't Draft Terrell Owens" and "Mock Draft: Your Pick Sucks." We're even buying you your first beer. Read More Radio Brief: Signing with Eagles puts spotlight on what Vick did to actual eagles Wednesday, Aug. 19, 2009 In the process of working his way down to the torture of bugs, Michael Vick may have made a stop at eagle. Read More  Cutler's 30.8% rating after preseason debut ranks him as Bears No. 2 QB of all timeSunday, Aug. 16, 2009 Only Jeff Blake's 9-pass 2005 season ranks higher New Bears QB Jay Cutler was unimpressive by most standards in his preseason debut against Buffalo Saturday night, but by Chicago's historical standards he was amazing. Cutler's 30.8 percent passer rating now ranks him second all-time among Bears quarterbacks. Only Jeff Blake's 40.9 percent rating ranks higher. Read More Radio Brief: Lovie's hiring of his own son is not nepotism, says Lovie Monday, Aug. 10, 2009 The Bears coach is hiring his family members but still denying nepotism. Read More  Kevin Butler's comeback attempt foiledWednesday, Aug. 5, 2009 Retired kicker tried to replace almost-namesake Cutler Ex-Bear Kevin Butler's comeback attempt was thwarted when his scheme was uncovered by police in his Chicago-area home. Read More Radio Brief: Vasher makes painful discovery that Cutler throws just a tad bit harder than Orton Wednesday, Aug. 5, 2009 Bears DBs realize they can no longer spend training camp trying to knock down their quarterback's passes with their face. Read More  Cutler rips Urlacher for hangin' with WadeThe Bears Report, July 30, 2009 Confirms rumor that linebacker hangs with d-bags On the eve of his first training camp in a Bears uniform, quarterback Jay Cutler fired back at Brian Urlacher following reports that Urlacher had called him a bad name. Read More Radio Brief: Cutler decides he doesn't need Ron Turner, will call his own plays Monday, Jul. 13, 2009 The new Bears quarterback figures there's no way he'll be benched considering who his backups are. Read More  July 09 issue is out: Busch Stadium gets indoor plumbing; Ozzie adopts Wrigley rat; and much moreThursday, July 09, 2009 Plenty of Cardinals, All-Star Game and Cubs news this month Great news: The Heckler's July issue has hit the streets. As usual, it's packed full of unbelievable sports news. Read More Don't miss National 40oz Week at The Fifty/50 now until July 5 Tuesday, June 30, 2009 Great times and discounts on America's Most Patriotic Beverage The good folks at The Fifty/50 (2047 W. Division) are holding National 40oz Week now until July 5, co-sponsored by The Heckler. Take part in great events like Trivia Night, Old School Hip Hop Night, baseball promos and Hangover Day while enjoying discounts on the best 40oz goodness around. Read More On Deck Radio Report: Hilarious clip of Jay Cutler calling Devin Hester a No. 1 wide receiver will become a YouTube hit and other predictions Monday, June 29, 2009 This week's predictions: viewers will love video of Bears QB's absurd statement, a mayoral bet will be placed on the Cubs/Brewers series, and the Cubs broadcasters will ask for a little extra. Read More The Heckler celebrates 1,000 Facebook friends Tuesday, June 30, 2009 For some reason, we signed up for an account and now people like it A while back, we at The Heckler started a Facebook account and Monday it gained its 1,000th fan. To celebrate this momentous occasion, we're offering current Facebook fans a deal they can't refuse: a chance to save 1,000 pennies on your next order from TheHeckler.com. That's $10 for all you non-math majors out there. Read More  June 09 issue is out: Bradley's mouth zippered shut; Ozzie holds insult seminar to prep for Wrigley; and much moreThursday, June 11, 2009 Also follow The Heckler on Twitter and Facebook Great news: The Heckler's June issue has hit the streets. As usual, it's packed full of unbelievable Chicago sports news. Also this month, The Heckler is co-sponsoring a pair of great events this month: unbeatable rooftop deals for Cubs-Twins and Cubs-Indians and National 40 oz. Week at The Fifty/50. Spread the word! Read More  Cutler completes transition by visiting every Chicago barTuesday, June 2, 2009 New QB: 'This town is awesome!' New Bears QB and appointed team savior Jay Cutler wasted no time making himself at home in Chicago. With the 2009 season still months away, discovering the Chicago social scene became Cutler's first order of business. Read More On Deck Radio Report: Bears will add veteran receiver they've been looking for when Conway comes out of retirement and other predictions Monday, May 11, 2009 This week's predictions: a Cubs promotion will cause an uproar, the Bears will find this year's non-factor to play receiver, and an ESPN anchor will be involved in a hairstyle related firing. Read More  May 09 issue is out: Lou gets moving walkway to speed up mound trips; Contreras recalls days with Ty Cobb; ESPN: Cornhole launchesFriday, May 8, 2009 Also introducing The Heckler Fan Pass Great news: The Heckler's May issue has hit the streets. As usual, it's packed full of unbelievable Chicago sports news. Read More On Deck Radio Report: Cutler and Orton will show off their true talents by competing in a drink-off and other predictions Monday, Apr. 27, 2009 This week's predictions: Brenly will need medical treatment on a trip back to Arizona, the Bears former and current QBs compete in a venue even more fitting for them than a football field, and Fukudome will spin himself into the stands. Read More Bears trade draft pick for Dairy Queen gift certificates Sunday, April 26, 2009 The Bears' war room unexpectedly shut down on Saturday during the 2009 NFL Draft. With only a second round selection on the docket, Jerry Angelo opted to unload the Bears lone first-day pick for gift certificates to the local Dairy Queen. Read More  Angelo makes draft pick just to liven up Bears annual pool partySunday, April 26, 2009 Internet clip sparks GM's interest in San Jose State DT After a pick-free Day One of the 2009 draft, Bears GM Jerry Angelo had a very active second day, making nine picks, the first of which was San Jose State DT Jarron Gilbert in the third round, who is a bit of an Internet sensation due to a YouTube video of him jumping out of a swimming pool. Angelo was very excited to utilize this unique talent at the Bears annual summer pool party. Read More ESPN pretends to care about Chicago long enough to launch new local Web site Monday, April 13, 2009 Berman butchering names of Hawks players highlights new site Long accused of an East Coast bias, ESPN unveiled a new Web site focusing on Chicago sports today. Featuring a slick design, the site debuted with little substance. Most content was just repurposed from its national brands. Read More  April 09 issue is out: Cubs to wear Snuggies; Santo gets mohawk; Reed is scrappyFriday, April 10, 2009 Be sure to sign up for The Heckler's Miller Park trip May 9 Great news: The Heckler's April issue has hit the streets. As usual, it's packed full of unbelievable Chicago sports news. Read More Cutler trade may cause shutdown of Bears Quarterback Carousel Friday, April 3, 2009 Fans lament loss of another beloved Chicago institution A disturbing trend has seen Chicago lose a number of its most important institutions like Marshall Fields, the Berghoff, the Sears Tower and the chance to vomit on Western Avenue at the South Side Irish parade. Today the city is mourning the apparent demise of another: the beloved Bears Quarterback Carousel. Read More  Cutler remarkably more pissed after trade to BearsThursday, April 2, 2009 'I never imagined my situation could get this much worse!' cries Cutler Even though Pro Bowl QB Jay Cutler received his wish to be traded from the Broncos Thursday, he never imagined his final destination would be the offensively talent-deprived Bears. Instead of appreciating the change of scenery, the move initially inflamed Cutler's bitterness towards his former club. Read More  Bears miss key free agents due to front-office retreatSaturday, March 28, 2009 Phillips, Angelo take trip to Bahamas while many competitors improve Shortly after announcing the Bears were not increasing ticket prices in 2009, President/CEO Ted Phillips and GM Jerry Angelo hopped on a private jet to the Bahamas. While off-season vacationing is far from unusual, these front office honchos oddly skipped town at the peak of the free agent signing period. Read More  March 09 issue is out: Zambrano Twitters between pitches; Soto's brow wax; Konerko replacedWednesday, March 18, 2009 Be sure to attend Next Year Day April 3 at Harry Caray's Wrigleyville Great news: The Heckler's March issue has hit the streets. As usual, it's packed full of unbelievable Chicago sports news. Read More  Bears announce free agent signing of lineman/admin assistantMonday, March 2, 2009 Omiyale gets to work immediately after signing contract in mail room It took the Bears all of two hours into free agency to proudly announce their big off-season acquisition. On Friday, unknown offensive lineman and pencil-pusher Frank Omiyale signed a four-year deal with the team in the mail room at Halas Hall. Read More  As Grossman departs, Angelo aims to find equally mediocre QB to replace himThursday, Feb. 26, 2009 Chicago GM: 'It's the Bear way after all' Quarterback Rex Grossman is officially a free agent, meaning his tumultous six-year run with the Bears has most certainly ended. Meanwhile, GM Jerry Angelo is confident he can find a mediocre free agent or draft pick to fill Grossman's shoes. Read More Screamin' Johnny Blaze talks about his disdain for hotels, spicy mustard and both Super Bowl teams in this Super preview Friday, Jan. 30, 2009 He might not have a press pass, but that won't stop Screamin' Johnny Blaze from shouting his opinions about the Super Bowl. Read More  Bears restructuring eliminates QBs, 16 other staff positionsWednesday, Jan. 28, 2009 'Tough times call for tough choices' says team CEO Phillips Citing the need to increase efficiency in a worsening economy, Bears management Wednesday announced an internal restructuring that will eliminate 19 staff positions, including the team's three quarterbacks. Read More  Daley asks for second NFL team or one college basketball team in cityTuesday, January 20, 2009 'The people of Chicago need something else to watch,' says Daley 'How can places like Durham, Providence, and Madison all have college teams while Chicago doesn't have any?' said Daley Read More  The Jan. 09 issue is out: Blago appoints Woo-Woo & Kasper gets hammered at ConventionFriday, January 16, 2009 Also check out The Heckler's booth at the Cubs Convention Just in time for the 2009 Cubs Convention, The Heckler's January issue has hit the streets. Read More On Deck Radio Report: Lovie's new hires will include more friends, plus family members and acquaintances and other predictions Monday, Jan. 12, 2009 This week's predictions: the Pirates will actually sign a free agent, the Bears coach will dole out more jobs for everyone from friends to people he barely knows, and Milton Bradley will act the way we expected at the Cubs Convention. Read More  Bears begin off-season improvements by hiring 0-16 coachMonday, Jan. 12, 2009 Marinelli brought in to share his vast knowledge of ineffectiveness Following a disappointing end to their season, the Bears made a splash with their first post-season acquisition. They did not acquire a top receiver, franchise quarterback or shore up their secondary. Instead, the Bears hired Rod Marinelli, the legendary former Detroit Lions coach that led his squad to the NFL's first 0-16 season. Read More  Bears flush all post-season hopes down the toiletRecap from Sunday, December 28, 2008 Texans help prove Bears really were who we thought they were The Bears have, until lately, appeared to be the luckiest team in the league. The Vikings looked primed to fold, while other potential NFC wild card teams were losing at opportune times. The only problem, they could not beat the damn Texans! Read More Bear Goggles: Find out why they're really a good team, despite how they look, and everything else you need to know about the Bears in week 17 Saturday, Dec. 27, 2008 Screamin' Johnny Blaze offers his take on the Bears last game of the regular season. Read More  Bears beat Packers in miracle only Santa could deliverRecap from Monday, Dec. 22, 2008 Kornheiser also analyzes obsessively over the cold for five quarters A blocked field goal and overtime coin toss off Brian Urlacher's helmet helped the Bears, once again, pull victory from the jaws of defeat. The Packers never trailed during regulation, but the Bears managed just enough second half offense to keep pace as Robbie Gould's OT kick brought home the victory. Read More  Cleveland face transplant goes horribly awryFriday, December 19, 2008 Die-hard Browns fan surgeon makes patient look like Dawg Pound member A woman who received the United States' first face transplant in a Cleveland hospital earlier this week was mortified when she saw herself in the mirror for the first time only to learn she now resembles a member of the Dawg Pound thanks to her surgeon, a die-hard Browns' fan. Read More Bear Goggles: Find out how they'll get some Untouchables-style revenge on their arch-rivals and everything else you need to know about the Bears in week 16 Friday, Dec. 19, 2008 Screamin' Johnny Blaze offers his take on the Bears fifteenth game of the season. Read More On Deck Radio Report: Rashied Davis will make progress by only dropping five straight passes and other predictions Monday, Dec. 15, 2008 This week's predictions: the Bears receiver's pass catching ability will improve, slightly, Hendry will go bargain hunting, and Larry Hughes will showcase one of his best skills in Boston. Read More  Bears escape with much needed win despite best efforts to blow itRecap from Thursday, December 11, 2008 Another wasted lead allows Saints to force OT The Saints (7-7) have had difficulty winning on the road this year. But, the Bears (8-6) gave them plenty of opportunities prior to squeaking out the win on a Robbie Gould field goal in overtime. The victory moves the Bears to within a half game of the division leading Vikings. Although, the Bears will need to finish with a better record due to some confusing tie breaker rule that few can comprehend. Read More Bear Goggles: Find out why activist judges are screwing them and everything else you need to know about the Bears in week 15 Wednesday, Dec. 10, 2008 Screamin' Johnny Blaze offers his take on the Bears fourteenth game of the season. Read More On Deck Radio Report: Lovie will attempt to make adjustments a bit too late and other predictions Monday, Dec. 8, 2008 This week's predictions: Bears coaches will actually review first half game film in an attempt to make adjustments but do it a few weeks too late, the Cubs will announce new ticket prices on new tickets, and the NFL will announce new suspensions. Read More  Bears beat up another bad team to maintain illusion of division raceGame recap from Sunday, Dec. 7, 2008 Jacksonville concedes early in attempt to avoid plummeting temperatures The Bears persevered through the blistering cold and Pee-Wee level playing surface to defeat the slumping Jaguars, 23-10. The Chicago Park District, who reportedly maintains the field, pledged to someday add green grass over the sloppy brown track. In the meantime, the win allowed the Bears to keep pace and stay one game behind Minnesota in the NFC North. It also provided fans an ounce of hope and the delusion of a possible playoff appearance. Read More Bear Goggles: Find out why the coach of the Jaguars is a jag off and everything else you need to know about the Bears in week 14 Saturday, Dec. 6, 2008 Screamin' Johnny Blaze offers his take on the Bears thirteenth game of the season. Read More Radio Brief: Lovie defends indefensible play-calling Wednesday, Dec. 3, 2008 The Bears coach sticks by his decision to use a guy who had been with the team for two days in one of the most critical plays of the Vikings game. Read More  Bears drubbing made worse by non-sensical rants from NBC broadcast teamGame recap from Sunday, Nov. 30, 2008 Vikings rally horn proves equally obnoxious as NFC Central crown slips out of grasp It wasn't bad enough for the Bears to get shallacked by the Vikings 34-14 Sunday night. Fans had to take it all in while listening to an obnoxious TV broadcast team. Good sports broadcasters know few words sometimes speak magnitudes. Unfortunately, neither NBC's Al Michaels or John Madden have learned this. Read More  After baby momma's allegations, Urlacher promotes pink uniformsSunday, Nov. 30, 2008 Bears' linebacker also advocates weekly manicures and pedicures Brian Urlacher seems to be very secure in his masculinity. Following allegations from his ex- that he painted their son's toenails and dressed him in pink diapers, the Bears' captain took matters a step further by requesting new pink team uniforms. Read More On Deck Radio Report: Lovie will give Babich something new for him to screw up and other predictions Tuesday, Nov. 25, 2008 This week's predictions: the Sox will go crazy in their new favorite market for talent, the Bears head coach's generosity will again go to waste, and a new potential Cubs owner will emerge. Read More  Bears demonstrate they can beat the heck out of lousy RamsGame recap from Sunday, November 23, 2008 Big win boosts confidence for some reason or another After last week's embarrassing defeat at the hands of the Packers, the Bears let out their frustrations on a battered and JV-level Rams squad. Read More Bear Goggles: Find out how they'll address defensive deficiencies by getting the Rams to walk on offense and everything else you need to know about the Bears in week 12 Screamin' Johnny Blaze offers his take on the Bears eleventh game of the season. Read More Radio Brief: Lovie happy with last Sunday's outcome, for his fantasy team Wednesday, Nov. 19, 2008 While the Bears coach's real team looked like anything but a playoff caliber club, his fantasy team clinched a spot in the postseason. Read More  Bears look ridiculous against hated PackersGame Recap from Sunday, November 16, 2008 Offense and defense equally share role of ineptness Those who believed the Bears to be a legitimate division contender sure were fooled. On Sunday, the rival Packers dominated Chicago in every facet of the game en route to a 37-3 whipping. Read More Bear Goggles: Find out why that Rodgers kid shouldn't scare them and everything else you need to know about the Bears in week 11 Friday, Nov. 14, 2008 Screamin' Johnny Blaze offers his take on the Bears tenth game of the season. Read More  Bears scrap secondary in new defensive schemeFriday, Nov. 14, 2008 Babich to stack 11 in the box for remainder of season Highly criticized for not making in-game adjustments, the Bears' defense will now concede the pass and stack all 11 defenders in the box. All traditional cornerback and safety roles will be eliminated. Read More  Bears, Grossman help Titans stay undefeatedGame recap from Sunday, Nov. 9, 2008 Lack of pass defense against elderly QB also a factor The Bears fell short in their bid to upend the unbeaten Titans on Sunday. The home loss was a tough pill to swallow after jumping out to an early lead and stuffing the Titan’s third ranked rushing attack. Unfortunately, the ageless Kerry Collins was able to run wild for a season-high 289 yards and two touchdowns. The Bears could not counter on offense and dropped to 5-4 on the season. Read More Bear Goggles: Find out what's attracting the fans to Soldier Field more than facing the unbeaten Titans and everything else you need to know about the Bears in week 10 Friday, Nov. 7, 2008 "Screaming" Johnny Blaze offers his take on the Bears tenth game of the season. Read More |
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