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2012-5-5-CubbieBriefs

Cubs expect 56-game losing streak until next Padres series in August

May 31, 2012

“I’m starting to think the Padres are the Dodgers’ Triple-A affiliate,” said Cubs manager Dale Sveum. “But many NL Central Division opponents have at least one player I can name. How are we going to beat those guys?”

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  • 2012-05-31-olshney

    Clippers GM attends NBA lottery ‘for old time’s sake’

    Even though his Clippers made the playoffs and weren’t eligible for the NBA lottery, GM Neil Olshey made an appearance at the event Wednesday night, saying it was “for old time’s sake.”

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  • 2012-05-31-pierzynski

    Heckler List: Top 10 ways A.J. Pierzynski agitates opponents

    A.J. Pierzynski found himself in the middle of another fracas this week in Tampa against the Rays. Here are the Top 10 was the White Sox catcher normally agitates his opponents.

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  • 2012-05-31-rondo

    Rajon Rondo vows to play more physical by ‘setting fire to the Miami locker room and locking the doors from the outside’

    “We just can’t give up easy lay-ups,” Rondo added. “We also need to remember that dropping a few chlorine tabs in a bucket of ammonia by the ventilation system is key. You know, it’s all about playing quality basketball.”

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  • 2012-5-30-Epstein

    Theo says Cubs can’t rebuild until they’ve been torn down

    “I don’t like the term ‘rebuilding’,” Epstein said during spring training. “We’re tearing down, especially with Koyie Hill mysteriously on the roster again. Rebuilding comes next.”

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  • stole_girlfriend

    Get over hump day with the latest photos from Heckler Memes

    It’s Wednesday and that means the lastest photos from Heckler Memes! Visit the site to create your own and every Wednesday we will be showing off your memes.

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  • 2012-05-30-vdn

    Del Negro hastily calls two timeouts during press conference announcing his return as Clippers head coach

    A clearly flustered and unprepared Vinny Del Negro met with members of the press Tuesday to announce his return as head coach of the Clippers for the 2012-2013 season.

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  • 2012-05-30-fairley

    Lions’ Fairley sorry for getting arrested, but not the whole ‘getting wasted’-part

    Lions DT Nick Fairley issued an apology Wednesday morning for this recent drug and DUI arrests, but stopped short of apologizing for the entirety of both incidents earlier this spring.

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  • 2012-05-30-chicagosports

    Every Chicagosports.com commenter revealed to be one bored guy with 18,000 screen names

    How could Steve Rosenbloom’s awful blog post have possibly garnered 40 comments from 37 different posters? The answer: there were not 37 different posters. Every post was made by one man using different screennames, super-bored Chicago sports fan Frank Weinheimer.

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  • 2012-05-30-smith

    Stephen A. Smith wants to officiate playoffs to prevent refs from ruining the game he loves

    Stephen A. Smith sure can chirp with the best of them, but now the energetic, passionate analyst wants to be a little more involved during these playoffs. After watching NBA officials Danny Crawford, Derrick Collins and Ed Malloy dish out technical fouls as if they were granted a raise for each, “Stephen A.” wants a piece of the pie.

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  • 2012-5-29-ShaqKazaam

    Shaq open to Magic GM job only if he can dress as Kazaam

    The Orlando Magic have announced they are close to signing former superstar center and current NBA analyst Shaquille O’Neal as their next GM, pending approval of a clause from O’Neal’s representation demanding that he be allowed to go to the office dressed in the same genie outfit he wore in the 1996 box office flop, Kazaam.

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