Superstar free agent Manny Machado didn’t make the best of first impressions with the South Siders earlier this week, after being several minutes late to the meeting after not hustling to make the crosswalk.
Machado, who will most likely be a Yankee because White Sox fans can’t have anything nice, got lazy when he saw that he still had time left to cross at the intersection of 35th and Shields, but ultimately had to pull up short to wait for the next light.
“You know, it’s just Manny being Manny,” said an agitated but rich [like “give Bryce Harper a blank check”-kind of rich] Jerry Reinsdorf. “With that lack of hustle and will to win, he’d be a perfect fit on the Bulls.”
Machado, known for being dirtier than Sammy Sosa’s PED tests, was also reported to have been seen tripping an old lady while crossing the crosswalk. We’ll keep an eye out to see how the grandmas of Chicago plan on retaliating.