Eager to finally do something right on draft night, the Bulls front office dealt All-Star Jimmy Butler to the Timberwolves for Kris Dunn, Zach LaVine and the seventh overall pick, which was used to select some tall dude from Finland. Bulls VP of basketball operations John Paxson explained the move to reporters, saying fans “no longer had a reason to care” about the team for a while.
“Look, we have an extremely loyal fan base and we want to be honest with them: You no longer have to care about our team,” said Paxson. “Maybe in a few years when LeBron retires and the federal government breaks up the Bay Area monopoly, but until then, now that Jimmy is gone, feel free to tune us out for a while.”
Paxson said that if fans insisted on finding a reason to take any interest in the Bulls next season, they’ll have to dig deep.
“Well, LaVine is pretty decent. Well, I guess I should say he was pretty decent until he blew out his knee,” said Paxson. “Maybe he’ll come back this year and not be terrible, so that’s something fans can root for. They also can cheer for [Dwyane] Wade to come off the bench for three minutes halfway through the second quarter in his role as the league’s most expensive eighth man of all time.”
Added Paxson: “Other than that, I’ve got nothing.”