A newly released ESPN report has indicated that between 3 and 10 NHL games were played in the last 24 hours, and that something exciting and noteworthy definitely happened in one of them.
While no highlights of the action have appeared anywhere as yet, the report is confident that it was either a hat-trick or maybe a wrister from the circle or possibly a great save, almost certainly accomplished by a man named Tyler or Connor/Conner or even Patrick.
Despite being overshadowed by the historic nature of the Cubs’ victory in the World Series, the exciting opening to the NBA season and Gary Anderson’s successful defense of the 2016 PDC World Darts Championship, ESPN’s report assures hockey fans that, yes, the NHL season definitely exists and there is certainly amazing action to be seen, from Edmonton’s (?) great start to the season to the disappointing start of, Quebec City, maybe.
“We are in a peak period for the game,” said NHL commissioner Gary Bettman. “16 teams will make the playoffs, and 14 teams will miss the playoffs and that is certainly a factual statement about the NHL that cannot be disputed. Please don’t ask me to elaborate further.”
Additionally, the report indicated that such exciting events had been happening in the NHL for somewhere between two weeks and a month, and that they wouldn’t stop until someone won the Stanley Cup in sure, let’s say February. Sure, February, that sounds right.