While last weekend’s series against the San Diego Padres was obviously highlighted by the arrival of Mr. Baseball, Kris Bryant, another Wrigley Field phenomenon, thanks again to social media, really garnered some national attention: the fan tradition of chugging a beer when a foul ball comes to rest in it.

A couple fans were caught on camera performing the sudsy, delicious ritual, which led to the videos being shared across all known social media sites (without the expressed written consent of Major League Baseball or the Chicago Cubs), titillating taste buds everywhere. Which led to today’s announcement by the club that they would begin selling special edition beers with an actual baseball as a garnish.

“It’s the logical next step, Economics 101,” owner Tom Ricketts declared while addressing reporters outside Wrigley’s Captain Morgan Club. “If our fans, the greatest fans in the world, want a beer with a slice of baseball then, by gosh, we’re going to give them a beer with a slice of baseball. For a nominal fee.”

When asked about that nominal fee, Ricketts threw a smoke bomb to the ground in front of him and disappeared. To supply the balls needed to mix the drinks, the team said all ballboys/ballgirls would be instructed to bring any ball they field during the course of a game to a beverage stand instead of sharing the souvenir with a young fan. So, sorry kids.

Patrick O. Elia