After a Sports Illustrated cover predicting the Chicago Blackhawks to again win the Stanley Cup caused widespread fears of the notorious “Sports Illustrated cover jinx” among Hawks fans, coach Joel Quenneville took a break from one of his favorite hobbies, breaking mirrors while standing under a ladder with a black cat on every step, to tell reporters he did not share such superstitious concerns.

“I don’t see what all the fuss is about, to be honest,” Quenneville said while opening an umbrella inside the press conference room. “Our boys have gotten into tip-top shape with a new workout regimen I designed where they pick up and throw massive tombstones from local cemeteries, so I don’t see where superstition comes into it. We’re absolutely, positively going to repeat as Stanley Cup champs.”

Team captain Jonathan Toews, who recently changed his uniform number to 13 and stopped saying “God bless you” when people sneeze, echoed this sentiment.

“I was standing on a crack in the sidewalk while spilling salt on a nearby table when I heard that Sports Illustrated picked us to repeat as Stanley Cup champs,” said Toews. “And I thought it was great news! I don’t see why anyone would view it as a negative omen. This is gonna be our year!  Well, fingers crossed.”

By Jeff GoodSmith

Jeff GoodSmith