After endless debate in the media about whether the streaking Chicago Blackhawks or red-hot Miami Heat are the superior team, the matter was settled Tuesday morning during an exhibition basketball game in which the Hawks trounced the Heat by 68 points.

“It wasn’t really that hard,” said Marian Hossa, who played power forward and held LeBron James to seven points. “Basketball is a very easy game compared to hockey. While this matchup made no sense, maybe it will cause Stephen A. Smith to shut his mouth.”

The Hawks were led by Patrick Kane, who scored 45 points and notched 31 assists. Toews added 38 points and nine steals.

Meanwhile, Hawks coach Joel Quenneville invented a new offensive scheme many believe will revolutionize pro basketball by requiring players to exert maximum effort throughout the game, rather than allowing them to take off approximately two-thirds of plays like most NBA current offensive game plans.

hecklerstaff